1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Are we losers?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by fadedstar, Nov 5, 2018.

  1. weary

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2018
    Messages:
    352
    Likes Received:
    270
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I'm social with people, but I am home a lot. I come here because there is absolutely no LGBTQ community in my area - Bible Belt, Deep South, Rural area. So you guys are my rock, my similar-minded compadres...lol unless I want to drive 2hrs..
     
  2. Destin

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    715
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm here just because I like it and there are cool people to talk to. I'm rarely only doing this - I might be on this site for over an hour a day every day but it's always multitasking while I'm also studying or eating or something like that. I see friends in person every day so I'm not really using this as a social substitute, it's just a nice addition to my social interactions and cool to have a group specifically focused around LGBT stuff to talk to.
     
  3. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Yes, and you even have a boyfriend. So you aren't here because you don't have a relationship either.
     
  4. SemiCharmedLife

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,062
    Likes Received:
    85
    Location:
    KY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I joined when I was newly out and trying to figure out who I was and what to do. I stayed around for the great community. My life is a lot more stable now and I'm in a good relationship, but I'm still here even if I'm not as active as I once was. Some people I consider incredibly close friends are people I've met on here. Am I a loser? Maybe but not because I'm on here :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. KarenLyn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I guess I've never really noticed who posts the most :slight_smile:. Some people just aren't chatty and others are. I've been away for a while but I guess I like to chat and help where I can.
     
  6. MHJG

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2017
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Hong Kong
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    For me, I'm here to idle. If I'm so busy, I don't even remember this forum...
     
  7. DecentOne

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2017
    Messages:
    856
    Likes Received:
    482
    Location:
    East Coast US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I’m a looong time out of high school, so I don’t worry too much about “loser” designations.

    What I like about EC is the variety of lives being lived, and the willingness of folks to be vulnerable. I’m grateful especially for the posts that make me see myself, and even the ones which seem outside of my experience.

    Thank you all for being open, vulnerable in your posts, and active as much as you are on EC.
     
  8. yayo1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2018
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I think “loser” is an inherently negative term and pretty unhelpful. That said, I DO think some people use forums like these as a substitute for a real life.

    And sometimes that’s fine...we all go through seasons where we need to shut out the real world. But it’s only fine to a point...if you’re wasting years not truly living, you’ve started to do something wrong.

    My personal experience? I’m a naturally social extrovert. I live in DC (so lots to do) and in the last 6 months I’ve been a sales woman, server, bartender—all jobs that require an outgoing personality. I have lots of friends and an active love life and have essentially only been home to sleep, lately.

    But sometimes I need a break...and sites like this can be good to come back into touch with my own thoughts rather than watching Netflix and spacing out.
     
  9. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I would consider myself one, but in all honesty, I've became addicted to forums since I have nowhere else to go. My life is going nowhere, either personally or professionally. Certainly no new opportunities to meet gays at my age and current situation. And as I'm just under 17, I still have a lot of questions and need guidance, which is part of the reason I came here. The forum does a great job for me, so I'm here to stay, at least until my offline life improves.
     
  10. yayo1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2018
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My love, at just under 17, your personal and professional life haven’t even nearly started. You will be shocked at how much your life opens up in the coming years.
     
  11. Love4Ever

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2018
    Messages:
    2,696
    Likes Received:
    1,219
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I completely agree. If you're a loser at seventeen then I shudder to think what I must be at 21.
     
  12. Devil Dave

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,077
    Likes Received:
    305
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Regrettably, my experiences with my local gay community have been pretty underwhelming. It seems like every time I start to get friendly with a fellow gay person in real life, it ends up leading nowhere. I've said many times that I find straight people much easier to make friends with than gay people. My straight friends are much better at staying in touch and being there for me, which is great, but I do still yearn for lgbt friends who I can just chat about anything with.

    When I meet other gay guys in person I often feel like I'm not impressive enough or not exciting enough to capture their interest. Perhaps that makes me a loser in my local gay community. But I do have opinions on lgbt issues that I want to share with other lgbt people, and I find it much easier on empty closets. At least on this site my opinions get listened to and I receive feedback, which is all I really want. I don't feel like a loser when I'm with guys.
     
  13. Joe2001

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    906
    Likes Received:
    32
    Location:
    Glasgow
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Unfortunately, I'm getting a lot of pressure to apply to university and know what I want to do. That qualifies as my professional life.
     
  14. yayo1

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2018
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That’s your academic life. And while it’s important to have some sense of vision when it comes to your education, you CAN take your time.

    Most of us don’t know what we want to do at 18. A lot of people are waking up to the fact that it’s absurd to put that much pressure on someone who is hardly an adult yet.
     
  15. InStandbi

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Some people just respond to a lot of forums.
     
  16. Ryu

    Ryu
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2014
    Messages:
    79
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Under a rock according to 'cool' people
    Back when I was in year 8, yes.
    I joined this forum like 3 days after I was old enough to sign up, and at that time I didn't have many friends. I was young, in a new school, and though I knew people that went to my primary school, I was never really friends with them in secondary school. I probably only really had two close friends then.
    I can remeber many a night where I would stay up until getting on 3am in order to talk to the members that were active back then, due to me being in England and the majority of users here are American the most active times are late at night for me. There was one night where I remeber all of the most recent posts on the front page of the fun and games board were by me. Looking back on it, I did use this forum as a substitute for real human interaction.
    By the time I got into year 9 though I stopped posting as much here, but I've come back every now and again if I have an actual question or if I just want to check up on how everyone is doing here.
     
  17. Tightrope

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Messages:
    5,415
    Likes Received:
    387
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Great post. I come around because I like to bounce ideas off the other members, ask for advice, give advice when I can ... The world seems to think of quieter and more introspective people as less than the very assertive ones. Don't let that be the standard by which you judge yourself. I also see new perspectives on here any time I log on. I may not agree with all of them, but they give me something to think about.
     
  18. Rade

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2018
    Messages:
    1,180
    Likes Received:
    630
    Location:
    Bedford UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've been here four months, been through alot. I'm only posting at 3.24am because I had yet another nightmare so got up.....I admit I probably post too much, I'm on the forum a couple of hrs a day, normally evenings....I don't consider myself a loser. I work, help my friends out during difficult times in their lives, part parent my 3 kids, go to 3 LGBT events a month. I think for me my local gay community is small or some of them are hiding somewhere....I'm not quite ready to date but early next year will take that leap.
    I won't post as much then, but this place has helped me so much and a now have a few friends on my wall, one who we post daily message to each other......
    It's an incredible place and I LOVE the upmost respect EVERYONE has for each other.
    Hugs Rade/Jon xx
     
    #38 Rade, Dec 6, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2018