My dad hit me and my mom verbally abused me ( this might trigger some people)

so this happened last night.
My mom’s friend called her and asked her for my hand in marriage to her son.
My mom kept making excuses like the horoscope won’t match extra. When she ended the call, I asked why didn’t explicitly state that I want to clear civil service examination and I am not interested in marriage.
She told me to mind my own business and not to interfere in elders matter. when I told her that she was discussing my future, she told me not to overreact. ( but was I ?)

My dad had gone out and he returned home while this was happening. I was already upset coz that morning he was saying demeaning things about my intellectual capabilities when I didn’t answer his not clearly phrased question. Told me that even though his query was unclear I should have determined the correct meaning and answered appropriately.

Both the events were running in my head and I started crying. So I went to my bedroom and shut the door. I just wanted to it all out. My dad called me at that time but I didn’t answer coz I wanted to be left alone. My mom cane to check on and found that I was crying. My dad told me to stop crying and come out of the room.
But I was upset so I refused to do so. He got mad and threw the tv remote at my head. It hit my ear. I screamed and my mom started shouting at my dad because of it. Then she blamed the whole thing on me, said it was my fault he threw it coz I was the one crying in the first place.

I have Gerd so I have to eat every two hours. My dad used this and said all I am capable of is only eating and getting fat.

My mom then started going on about how I am always destroying her peace of mind, that I am selfish, I don’t think about their place in the society and she is going to tell everyone that she doesn’t have a daughter when they ask her. In a fit of anger I told to also say that I am lesbian that’s why I don’t want to get married. She said she won’t bring such shame to the family and she rather not have a daughter than a lesbian one. Guess she never accepted me when I said I was bisexual. Or she thought I will eventually just marry a guy.

My dad was happily watching funny videos while this was happening, like he never hit in the first place.
Then my mother went on a rant about how she won’t impose such a burden (me) on such a good and lovely boy, it will be sin to get me married to him. It will doing him injustice. That i will starve for love and I will be desperate for a husband and then will realize my mistakes.

I am going to stop here. I don’t want to recount the whole night. I am sorry if this affects anyone but I don’t have anyone else to talk to. My phone is not with, so I could not contact my friends.

Was I overreacting? Was I wrong to state my opinion? I have lost hope that my life will get better. With no job in sight in near future, I don’t know what to do.

Sorry once again if this affected anyone.

 

I am 25, so not a child anymore. In Indian culture, the girl can’t leave the house i.e stay on her own unless it’s for studies or career ( even then hostels are “ recommended “ because that what “good family girls” will do). So I can’t leave my house. If I leave, then it is me announcing to the whole wide world of my parents failure in child raising.
At 25, you are expected to get married coz it is “right time “ to procreate ( which I can’t, I think, I am not sure ) and build a family. My family being a prominent one in my community, you can think of me as a prized pony. Now my parents are trying to find the right bidder ( see dowry system, more prominent the girl family less the dowry, opposite for boys. ) as soon as I turned 25, the show started. I am so sick and tired.

Sorry about the rant. My parents are not talking to me and it is getting to me. My mother birthday is tomorrow so I am feeling guilty at the same time I am angry. It’s tiring.

Thank you for taking your time and your concern is very much appreciated.

 

Thank you. My friend is asexual, but she is in Canada. She knows my home situation. But as I don’t have a phone at the moment, I can’t contact her.

Thank you for your love and Support. It means a lot.

 

I have an exam this month. If I clear that, i would have stable job with 20k per month and additional benefits. I am preparing for the exam. But I am afraid I will not succeed. I have been searching for PGs and other accommodations. I have my aunt house if I have to leave.

 

I know. But that’s Indian mentality to you. Fortunately my grandma agrees with me but she is powerless to do anything.

 

No I didn’t make it about yourself. I am sorry you have to go through that. Shame on me for being selfish but I am grateful that you can empathize with me. My mom knows that my dad is wrong but if she fights him, he will turn violent towards her also. I was raised to fear my dad than fight him. My mom said that it was best way to survive.

He is actually good when he is not angry. I have free reign over my spendings and does some of my chores too. But he is a stereotypical Indian father when it comes to male female divide. That females are always inferior to males. Being a girl, I should listen to him. Now he is getting old, he should “hand me over” to another male.
Puts too much stock on what people might say.

 

Thank you every much. I am grateful for your words and concern.

 

I would like to thank everyone for their concern and your support. When I posted this, I simply wanted to get it out of my chest. But seeing so many people reply to this ( even when they have seen me or known me personally) it actually humbles me. So thank you once again. It is one of many reasons I joined this site in the first place.

I have some good news. Though my mother thinks I am making a very big mistake making such a bad decision, she has agreed to stop planning my marriage. She said my father will also not interfere in this matter.

Now it is on me to acquire my dream and prove them that I was right to stand by my choices. Wish me luck everyone. And thank you all once again from the bottom of my heart.

 

I have another exam coming up in June 2019, I have collaborated with some people and have organized time tables and study groups for that exam. I am putting all my efforts towards clearing the exam. If I clear it, I will have 3 years training with stipend and lodging. I have also be posted in capital city. So fingers crossed for that.