i have been dealing with an existential crisis for awhile...with my recent bouts of ruminating over my past and clues that were either ignored or suppressed regarding my orientation and identity, I often wondered if I was simply born too early (I was actually a week early) and in the wrong generation... This is a paradox for me as I often feel as that I should have been born a generation or two earlier ( I live the art and cultural periods of the 40s-70s) as I’m not a big fan of today’s pop culture.... However I cannot help but feel regret for not being able to explore myself and Experiment with opportunities that peresented to me in my teens out of fear of discovery not only by peers and those I was close to but maybe more so, fear of discovery from myself in accepting my orientation... Today’s younger generation is more open and accepting. I cannot help but think that if I was 17 or 18 today and those same situations and possibilities presented themselves now...I feel as though I would have been able to explore and discover myself better without having to suppress my feelings as I have all these years....
Danabutton.....I have felt the same way many times. I was born in 1950 and raised in a rural area. I knew I was different from the other boys at an early age but had no idea what that meant. I was out for about four years in college, but the death of my boyfriend sent me into a spiral of denial that lead to a lot of depression and self-hate for the next 40+ years. I know that, if I had any kind of support when I was emotionally devasted, that the rest of my life would have been quite a lot different. There are moments when I can get angry thinking about the lack of any LGBTQ resources back then in comparison to now, but I have made a lot of progress in the last four years since I came out here on empty closets. Now I try hard to have the best rest-of-my-life that I can. Accepting yourself and gradually learning how to love yourself really does make a difference! .....David
ThNks David for your post...I was born in 1971, grew up in the 80s/90sand was always trying to overcompensate wanting to be something I was not
@Danabutton , I don't think that sentiment is limited to those of us with unconventional sexuality. Trying to be something we're not is a bad idea for anyone. It's tempting to think life would be better in a different era. But every era has its problems. Sometimes I think of it as a cosmic game, where we're dropped into random circumstances, and we have to figure out what to do.
Ha! I wish I had been born in 1971 so that I could be only 47 now, but then I would have missed watching Neil Armstrong step onto the moon!
I can get caught in the same thing... the past is the past, can't do anything about it, future isn't here yet, can plan but not worry about it, have to live for today, its the only thing that counts at the moment! Dean
If I were to wish for something different from what is, I'd wish to be either 100% straight, or 100% gay. But I can't wish for that because this is who I am.
I guess it nice to know things are progressing and are better for youth of today. I'm sure my life would be different if I had the supports available now. And in a way it is just having EC is nice. I'll never forget the day I came across Genderfluid. I'm genderfluid and bi male. I was like OMG I'm not nuts this happens to other people. I always thought that I had multiple personalities or something and tried to suppress my Fem. I carried a lot of shame. Jami
I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong generation. I was born 1971 and came out in the early nineties, but I've always loved the literature of the preceding gay generation--the Violet Quill people: Holleran, Mordden, Monnette and the like. And the people I know from that generation have such stories! I think I would have loved it, if I survived it that is--a lot didn't. Still I feel like it was sort of the generation I was meant for...
With all due respect, keeping your energy here is probably just another excuse not to face your truth today! I know from experience, I have thrown every excuse out there not to explore. It’s OK, you’ll be good. Peace and love
I’m a young old guy (LOL) I was born in 1960 and I have to say that while I’m comfortable with my bisexuality my wife isn’t. If I was part of my kids generation they are so much more accepting. The women of my generation or even 10 years younger are still uneasy about any guy that is bi, while the girls of today seem to be much more at ease with men who are sexually fluid. What can I say? Maybe I was born in the wrong generation.
Yup. I clearly remember that night in January when I just needed to communicate with ANYONE who would understand what I'm up against. Thank you EC and everyone here!
I could agree more...I am tired of this murky feeling that I have been dealing with since my divorce years ago....feels like cobwebs are interfering with my ability to even concentrate on things
