Hi, so I'm a trans guy and I have never actually come out to anyone (told anyone 'I'm trans') but my mom did catch me binding with a makeshift binder a while back and bought a real Underworks binder for me. During the process of buying the binder I made it fairly clear that it was not something that I wanted to discuss and my mom respected that. Since then my mom has brought it up a few times just to make sure I'm being safe. Also once when I was talking about how ridiculous it would be to say your gender is 'bread' and I joked that I was going to change my gender to sleep and go by pronouns sleep/sleeper/sleeping, I was clearly joking but my mom did more seriously ask me if there was anything (any pronouns) I wanted to be called. I am in no way ready to come out so I just brushed off the question without specifically answering and moved onto a different topic. I have to assume that my mom knows that something is going on, I really want to know though if she knows that I'm trans and is waiting for me to come out. Even if she dose know that I'm trans I'm still not ready to come out because I spend way too much time questioning my gender, and I'm still terrified (even though she would probably take it well). I am also not out in the slightest to any of my friends, they just think I'm a tomboy. I just want if I should just do it and come out, or wait until I'm actually ready. However I'm kinda scared to wait until I'm ready because I don't think that will be until I go to university, and I dont know if I'm going to survive until that point. Sorry for the long post
Hi archie73 It sounds to me that your mom knows or at least highly suspects what’s going on and seems to be cool about it (she did buy you a binder and worried about what prounouns to use). She’s probably waiting for you to come out. Eitherway (on the coming out subject) if you don’t feel ready to come out then don’t pressure yourself to do it. Give yourself the time you need and start by telling those closest to you (coming out to a few close ones and then telling more ppl until you feel comfortable with your « outness »). Also it’s totally normal to be scared but know that you aren’t alone and that ppl at EC will always be here for you. Hope it helps. -Nihil
Hi, @Archie73. I agree with Nihil. You don’t need to pressure yourself into anything. But, if you’re uncomfortable with being closeted, maybe it’s time? Idk. I understand that it’s scary to come out. Heck, I’m not even completely out yet. It really is scary. Especially if you’re unsure if everyone will accept you (but at least your mom seems to be accepting, which is great). Either way you decide, good luck!
