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Tired of my friends guilting me

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Robishere, Nov 15, 2018.

  1. Robishere

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    When it comes to my friends, the dynamic is a bit different. I have a lot of great friends, I actually consider myself to have more than one best friend because I simply cannot choose. The thing is that all my friends know me but none of them know each other, so I hang out with them either individually or in the small group me and those specific friends have. Other than that, my friends don't really know anything about each other except for the fact that they all exist.

    Now, I love them all but this has led to all of them at one time or another shaming me and making me feel guilty for hanging out with other friends more than them, not giving them enough attention, not talking to them for a while, etc. So I'll be hanging out with a specific person or group for some time and eventually someone else will call me out for 'neglecting' them so I try to make up for it by hanging out with them but in doing that I'm 'neglecting' my other friends and the cycle repeats itself. Endlessly. It has been for years now and it's starting to take a toll on my mental health and in some cases even made me somewhat resent my friends.

    I constantly have to explain myself to them, telling them why I haven't been paying attention to them as much but as soon as I do, I get a text from my another close friend saying I don't love them anymore. I've tried explaining myself to them but all they hear is "I have too many friends to choose from and you're the last of the pick". I honestly don't know what to do about this whole thing any more. It'd been a while since it happened but today one of my closest friends called me out publicly for "ignoring" her. I'm tired of having the same argument with all of them.
     
  2. Jamie92203

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    I bet your tired I think you need new friends. These friends sound really rude and they act like you need to be there for them 24/7 or they can't be alone and vice verse. You need friends who treat you right and not call you out on "neglecting" them.
     
  3. Lone Wolfe

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    What can I say, you're a popular guy. I really had to smile at your situation. I used to be in a similar one, but most of my different groups didn't mind my absence. Eventually, as the pressure to attend increased, I just ended up not going to those who were having a problem with me being away too long. Maybe it is time for you to pick and choose your favorites?
     
  4. Noahand2

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    Me and my group of friends had a similar fight like this. But every time we came together and talked about it. It was like the conversation never happened. I dreaded those days because I tried to keep everyone from falling apart and splitting up. because I convinced them it wasn't worth losing what we had. Now we are back together but its not the same, but it will never be. Luckily my friends cherished our friendship to move past it. All I can advise if you cherish your friends, and they cherish you then give it time, but if they are not willing to corporate with you then they are not thinking about you and your feelings on the matter, and that not fair to you.