What are you thinking?

I need to lose weight ASAP!! I wish I had friends in my daily life that I can relate to. I hate how isolated and suffocated I feel sometimes.

 

Christmas time is officially HERE!

We decided on a real tree for the first time ever. I have always been hesitant because fake trees just look prettier, they are even, and I don't have to worry about keeping it alive long enough. Well see what happens!

Took time this weekend to decorate the whole house and we splurged in buying some christmas decorations. Is our third christmas in our own house and we are just over the moon at the mere fact. Two homos happy as they can be and nesting. I've been trying to process this is all because it does feel like a dream.

Also, this totally feels like a humble brag, but just know that I was also that scared 16 year old trying to get advice on here as I tried to come out. Terrified of what would happen. I came close to taking my own life once. There were some really fucking dark times. But here we are ladies

 

Seeing Municipal Waste tonight!

 

Finished Christmas shopping for 1 of 4 people. Now I just gotta get stuff for the other 3, get something for anniversary, and figure out what we're doing for my dad's BD. Thank god I didn't leave all this to the last min lol

 

Tree up in the living room. Didn't get to decorate it but it's there.

 

First day back from fall break and I'm drowning in homework. Just two weeks left...

 

Ugh don't remind me I have to go drop a class tomorrow

 

So happy for you! Love these pics! So fun to see you lovely people in real life.

 

On another note, I have to make a Power Point today to present to my art history class. I'm excited but always a little nervous with big projects that need to be just right.

 

I just found out they're finally making an Artemis Fowl movie and I'm having a minor geekfit. That was my favorite series as a teen/young adult. It comes out in August of next year and I'm so going to see it. I don't care that I'll be almost 29 by then.

 

Asif I didn't get that retail job. Kinda a blow to the self esteem lol

 

I'm sorry.

 

Sorry to hear that, bud. Keep going, you'll get something soon.

 

Not kidding, but retail job hunting is one of the most excruciating things.

Back when I was 22 I applied to literally 50 companies, got only 3 interviews, and only one job offer. Its an insane process. Its definitely harder to get into if you don't know anyone vouching for you or if you don't have previous experience doing it.

On the other hand, for my job now, I applied to 8 companies, had 3 interviews and 2 offers.

That is to say, keep applying! You'll get one eventually. And its not you, its a painful fucking process.

 

Part of my problem is feeling entitled to a good job. I got a degree that isn't universally seen as "useless", yet I can't get a related job. So when I bump my expectations down, I thought it'd be a lot easier. At this point I just want a routine and money

But thanks for the nice words

 

I'm so happy for you both. Thanks for sharing. Note to others - this is what is possible for you.

 

It's my 16th birthday in less than a month and I promised myself that I would've at least held a girl's hand by now, not going to happen by the looks of it, never even had anyone show the slightest interest in me. I guess I knew deep down when I promised myself two years ago that it wouldn't have happened by now.

I'm young and all but I wish people thought I was desirable, makes me think that in another two years I still won't have had any experiences. idk, all my friends aren't bothered by relationships or love, they're all happy to focus on studies, makes me feel like a bit of an anomaly. I wish I could've fulfilled my promise to myself but I can't help it if I'm not wanted.

I hate it, I hate feeling so lonely every night, even though I'm young and I have the rest of my life for that, it feels like I have an eternity to wait. I've always got a new crush on someone or another, and it always ends the same way, rejection.

 

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with you. I feel the same way and I am five years older than you. I'll be twenty two in less than six months and I have never kissed or held anyone's hand. Ever. I want to so badly though. It frustrates and baffles me that someone like me who has wanted a relationship for years has never had one and yet plenty of people seem to be swatting them off like flies.

 

It's so frustrating, I wish you luck, we'll both get there one day. <3