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Bisexuals! What determines your preference?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ihmawtd1234, Nov 22, 2018.

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  1. ihmawtd1234

    ihmawtd1234
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    Hello!

    So im a 21 year old male bisexual, and it seems pretty common knowledge when reading posts that alot of bisexuals have a preference for either males or females.
    So i was wondering... What is it exactly that determines this preference?

    I have thought about two options:

    1) How FREQUENT you find one of the two genders attractive... e.g you find more women attractive than men.
    2) The strength/level of the attraction IN ITSELF... e.g you find more women attractive than men, but the few men you find attractive, attracts you MORE.

    I'll use myself as an example:
    I find way more women attractive than men, but the few men i find attractive, atracts me more. So in terms of frequency i am favoring women, but in terms of how intense the attraction potentially can get i favor men.

    To be more detailed:
    I find girls my own age attractive and also milfs. The only guys i find attractive or my own age (18-25).. after 25 i have no attraction at all. However my attraction to those few guys are much stronger both sexually and emotionally than girls.

    What would you say that makes me? a 50/50 bisexual? a 60/40? Kinsey 3 or Kinsey 4?

    And also how do you determine your preference? i am really not sure how to determine my own.
     
    #1 ihmawtd1234, Nov 22, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 22, 2018
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  2. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    I see more men I find appealing. I was straight for a large portion of my life. Now though I'm interested in women as lifelong partners.
    Sexually, I feel a lot for men but otherwise I don't feel much except in fantasy. Women it's more subtle but it's deep in understanding. I can feel a variety of things though. I've found it's better to just let things unfold.
     
    #2 Love4Ever, Nov 22, 2018
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  3. Cas girl

    Cas girl
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    I am Kinsey 1.
    My “tastes” are very erratic. It tends to change. Like few months back, I like macho men and androgynous girls.


    1ABBC6C2-341A-4279-9F49-453ECA9649B2.jpeg 13B4EBC1-4D30-4810-99EE-AD9F950EE636.jpeg


    But nowadays I am more into Southeast Asian types for men and Indo Persian ladies.

    CBC18AD6-F408-4694-9BF2-B9A1D2CB9236.jpeg
    0AC29978-3969-4E74-AA0C-A6BA0F89445B.jpeg

    What can you do ?
    Romantically I tend to lean towards men more.
     
    #3 Cas girl, Nov 22, 2018
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  4. androgynousdog

    androgynousdog
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    for me i tend to feel more for men physically and sexually. i feel the blushing and the jitters and flustered emotions. irs very easy for sexual fantasies to be with a man. which. throws me off really bad. especially because my attraction to women is more personality based and more about emotions and THEN i would want to pleasure her or kiss her/be intimate with her. i tend to be attracted to specific women, and have little to no sexual attraction initially. its more like a soft and slow smile that warms up my chest. which even now still causes me a lot of anxiety.
     
    #4 androgynousdog, Nov 22, 2018
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  5. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    This is very normal. I feel exactly like this. I have been very sexually attracted to a select few women though. You are completely normal. Thanks for making me feel more normal!
     
    #5 Love4Ever, Nov 22, 2018
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  6. Shorthaul

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    I just like what I like. Granted confidence and a great butt do heavily influence how much I may like a person lol
     
    #6 Shorthaul, Nov 22, 2018
  7. Sebby45

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    I feel it is person based. I don't prefer one sex over the other. Rather I appreciate certain characteristics in a person and that is what attracts me. Of course I find some people just plain attractive (who doesn't?) but it doesn't make me want to be with them. Then again, I am bi but not sexually inclined. A bi-gray ace if you will.
     
    #7 Sebby45, Nov 22, 2018
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  8. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    The funny thing is, I really just want to be with a woman. I think I'd be happier. Hence the lesbian label in my profile.
     
    #8 Love4Ever, Nov 22, 2018
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  9. beenthrdonetht

    beenthrdonetht
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    You changed your label! Without undue obsessing (that we could tell). You are free. :slight_smile:
     
    #9 beenthrdonetht, Nov 22, 2018
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  10. lookingup9

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    Wow! I'm the exact same way! If I didn't know better I could have written this myself. You might as well have read my mind and typed my feelings for me.
     
    #10 lookingup9, Nov 22, 2018
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  11. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    Yeah. :slight_smile: I hover between bi and lesbian.
     
    #11 Love4Ever, Nov 23, 2018
  12. beenthrdonetht

    beenthrdonetht
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    You are taking the advice we (and you!) always give: don't feel that a label is permanent.

    Me, I hover between bi and straight. I live in constant fear (JK!) of erasure.

    But now, this thread is not all about me. What do you think of me? OK back to topic now!
     
    #12 beenthrdonetht, Nov 23, 2018
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  13. Mihael

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    Probably my personality. Masculine personaities turn me off. I feel a sense of rivalry rather than romantic butterflies when met with such a person. Physically my preferences are rather even.
     
    #13 Mihael, Nov 23, 2018
  14. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    I don't stress over my "exact proportion" as it were. I find myself attracted to other women much more often than I am attracted to men, but when I am attracted to men, it feels more powerful than when I'm attracted to women.

    Also the guys I'm attracted to tend to look and act really femme.

    Being with me is gay, no matter who you are.
     
    #14 Pret Allez, Nov 23, 2018
  15. LaurenSkye

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    I find women attractive more often than men in everyday life. However, a lot of times if I see a good-looking guy shirtless on TV or movies, I am turned on more than I usually am when I see women in bikinis. This may sound crazy, but I sometimes find women more physically attractive with their clothes on.
     
    #15 LaurenSkye, Nov 23, 2018
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  16. PinkMuffin

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    I find it difficult to know who I'm attracted to because I can't tell the difference between love, admiration and sometimes just friendship. Any advice?
     
    #16 PinkMuffin, Nov 28, 2018
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  17. Love4Ever

    Love4Ever
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    These lines are often very thin. And for some they overlap. I would dispose of labels and go with what you feel.
     
    #17 Love4Ever, Nov 28, 2018
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  18. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    This can remain confusing for a long time. And it can frustrate you. I am prone to wanting to find answers and this situation you describe is something that's hard to pull apart. The best thing to do is not overthink. Even my therapist has told me that.

    Yes. Just live ... and let live ... and do what feels right.
     
    #18 Tightrope, Nov 28, 2018
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  19. Danabutton

    Danabutton
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    In terms of physical attraction; definitely women especially 28-45 yrs of age..I actually find 35-45 more attractive, alluring,and able to have good, meaningful conversations with....
    On the emotional attraction side; men esp 45-60 (British accents a huge plus).....however I am not physically attracted to men but I thoroughly enjoy very deep and complex discussions on existential issues
     
    #19 Danabutton, Nov 28, 2018
  20. Jakebusman

    Jakebusman
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    I'm into women more but still into guys
     
    #20 Jakebusman, Nov 29, 2018
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