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dating app confusion

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. baristajedi

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    hi there...
    So I’ve added profiles to about 4 dating sites, and I’ve been basically sending messages to people who I think seem interesting and live nearby. I think I am still learning how to do the message thing because the ones I’ve sent so far were probably too something, not exactly sure, I haven’t got responses yet.

    But I get a lot of messages from people who live like across the globe. I don’t really understand this particular use of dating sites, is it just for sexy chat? I mean, honestly I don’t get it. I want to actually meet real life women, what’s the point of sending out a message to someone you will never actually have a chance to meet?

    Also... advice, insight on best ways to go about meeting people?

    So far I’ve been:

    Working on dating apps but don’t really know if I want to pay a lot for an app, so I’ve been trying out free versions but of course that limits communication in various ways depending on the site.

    Checking for meet-ups that will be happening near me. I see that none are coming up when I’m available in the near future so I’m working on organising a night with a meet-up group that I know is pretty well attended here.. people seem keen for the day and venue I suggested so I’m just waiting for the organisers to respond to see if they’ll post the event.

    Queer bar scene - i have only one weekend night a month I can go out to the bars, but I could go on Thursday evenings maybe too... just trying to work out getting friends to come along, but I suppose I don’t know how to find a bar buddy, a lot of my closest queer friends live a bit out of the city... I’m just trying to work out how to get more nights out with people who are able to come along with me.


    Anyway, that’s where I am at the moment. Any thoughts?
     
  2. baristajedi

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    I just reached out to friends in two places... one messenger group and one private Facebook group... so hopefully I’ll get more chances to be out with my queer friends and that by itself is awesome, and the added bonus of meeting women.

    My friends in one of the groups were all excited about meeting up
     
  3. Peterpangirl

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    I've been doing exactly the same and having similar experiences. I've had a few smiles and messages. But I actually want to hang out with people too. What's the point really in chatting with someone in New Zealand, even if she's lovely??? I also feel a little concerned by the age gap between me and some people contacting me that are showing a romantic interest. I don't really want to date someone a similar age to my mother. I think older women are beautiful too, but want to date someone of my own generation. I feel like the chances of finding love in the future are so low it depresses me. I don't just want to have casual sex with lots of women, however attractive. I want friends and in time someone I can emotionally connect with and have physical attraction for. Someone who is comfortable with their gay orientation would be great.
     
  4. weary

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    I've been trying the dating apps too for a about a week or so. I've gotten lots of messages but once I request to meetup irl or phone they disappear. Oh, I've also run across some scammers too - one I guess was a guy pretending to be a girl, the other one was looking for someone to travel to clear diamonds... yeah can you believe that!

    @baristajedi they distance thing you can change - make sure you go to your phone settings and let the apps access your location. Unless you pay for their service, they will put you in the middle of the pacific if you don't allow access. I was getting people responding from all over the world until I changed that setting. That's cool about the meetup thing. I only have one group in my area and you have to go through hoops to join it.

    @Peterpangirl Don't worry so much about the age thing. Just go out not looking for romance but just to have a good time and meet other likeminded people. Be upfront and tell them you're not wanting a hookup. This way your honest and maybe you'll meet someone in your age range while out. At the very least you'll be socializing with others.