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how to overcome obsessing about someone you saw a couple of times

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CL1990, Nov 20, 2018.

  1. CL1990

    Regular Member

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    hi...i ssaw this girl a few times (long distance) over a period of 2 months. it was amazing when i was with her and last time i saw her i really thought i would see her again (she booked a trip to come see me but had to cancel for work)

    now im left in a limbo where she doesnt really text me and ive asked her if she likes me and she said yes but that its its difficult because of the distance and her job (she works realllyyy long hours). now i really dont know how to let go cuz i still feel she likes me...can people change opinion that quickly...

    i also dont want to put too much pressure on her but i must be more keen than she is so really want to move on somehow im starting to make myself ill with all this situation...advice? (sorry its all a bit all over the place)
     
  2. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    This kind of thing happens too many times.
    I think in the back of your mind, you know that she most likely doesn't feel the same way about you anymore, even though she says she does. When you communicate (via text I presume?) - Who makes contact first, most of the time? If it always comes from you, perhaps it's time to move on, because if she doesn't put in any effort to keep in touch, chances are she's already moved on, and stringing you along "just incase".

    I know it's hard to think about it like that, but you need to face the facts, sooner rather than later. Long-distance relationships isn't for everyone. I know I would definitely never go into a long-distance relationship, because I've been cheated on before, and will always have doubts. I see it as, "out of sight, out of mind" instead of "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I know that's a dark and negative way to look at it, but I have serious trust issues due to getting hurt in the past (Who doesn't?). So with that said, a LDR is definitely not for me. Maybe she's been hurt too, and feels like maybe if she cuts all contact with you, she will "get rid" of you, and be open and free to find someone closer to home. Just a thought. A sobering one, I know. Good luck with whatever you decide to do, and I hope this helps you to stop obsessing over something that might never work anyway. Sorry for being the bearer of bad news.
     
    CL1990 likes this.
  3. CL1990

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    hahahah dont worry and thanks for taking the time to reply!you are probably right but doesnt make it any easier for me
     
  4. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    It may not be easy now, but in the long run, you will see it was for the best to move on. Just give time, time. Thinking of you :slight_smile: