Okay, so i have posted on here a couple of times now... but to make it simple im just gonna write facts about my current situation, and then you can hopefully help me figure out what i am. - Im 20 years old and male - I am attracted to a wide variety of women( girls my age, milfs etc.) - The only guys im attracted to are so called "twinks" or otherwise feminine looking guys (guys you would describe as beautiful instead of handsome. In other words i am attracted to very few guys compared to women. - I usually masturbate to straight porn, and when i do, my focus is always on the woman - Occasionally i watch gay porn, but usually i "explore" my gay side when i use my fantasy while masturbating - My attraction in terms of how often i find someone attractive favors the women, since my "taste" is so much wider here - My attraction in terms of the very "strength" of the attraction favors the guys, since these few special guys really is the peak of my attraction. - Romantically i suppose im more inclined to fall for these beautiful young men, although i have had a small crush on a girl once. - When walking around in town i notice both women and guys if they seem attractive, however since my attraction for these few guys are stronger, i tend to "really" notice them - Men aged about 25+ does absolutely nothing for me, mostly due to the fact that they begin losing that femininity and youthful beauty. Anyways what do you guys think this makes me? Bisexual? gay?
Can you fantasize about women without porn? If that works then from what you describe you sound bisexual in orientation. When I was your age and younger I was more likely to look at guys who were close to my age too. I know that it is different for others though, as I’ve heard from some gay men they had crushes on teachers or movie/TV stars who were much older than them. I could appreciate women who were older than me (and same age, and younger) but not guys. Back then I didn’t know I was bisexual though, perhaps if I knew I was then I would have given myself more freedom to look at a wider range of guys.
Porn is a poor barometer, as it is for fantasy. I am a fan of shemale porn, but have never tried what makes them special. Sok metimes people just want the escape, but after you have finished popping, you want to turn the scene off. Have you tried dating a man? There is no harm in trying.
You sound bisexual, but it's only my opinion, enjoy both sexes and you will get a better understanding, for your future. Luckily your young and can enjoy all the fun....
mmmm havin a type is totally normal my dude! id recommend giving it a go. you sound bi to me but theres no harm in tryin it all out
Not sure how you get gay out of this, but if you prefer men and want to date them I guess you could identify that way. I mean, I am just like you and identify as a lesbian and bi alternately. But you sound bisexual to me. You mention women way too much to be gay imho.
I get what your saying but my attraction to these guys is just so much more intense and deep than any woman makes me feel. However, i find nothing attractive about men aged 25+... NOTHING... so if i really were gay, its only possible for me to actually live a gay lifestyle in the next 5-6 years... My attraction to women is there... it is not fake or socially constructed... it is just not as powerful in any sense compared to those few guys... I just cant see myself as gay when my attraction to men basically stops at 25+... i wont be able to find a guy to be with into my 30’s 40’s etc... And also just the fact that i actually do find alot of women attractive... A gay man would by definition not find women attractive I guess bisexual is the right term? Even tho it somehow doesnt feel completely right...
I have to ask: at 20 years old, have you ever been in love? Who do you see yourself holiday shopping with, planning a romantic getaway with, decorating an apartment with, one day? Your focus from this post seems to be rooted very firmly in the physical attraction since, although you do say you seem to be romantically attracted to feminine guys. Have you ever asked one on a date? As someone else here said, porn is a very poor barometer of your deep feelings, of what sort of partner or partners you feel would show you the way to happiness. It seems like you're fairly inexperienced in terms of romantic relationships. For that reason, I'd recommend you don't get too hung up on any label, never mind MILFs or other porn definitions, get out and meet and date a few people, whatever their gender.
I'm with Brandy Bee on this one. You've pretty much posted the same thread six times over two years and it seems that virtually nothing has changed. You're not going to find out who you are by having someone on the internet tell you. You're going to find out by actually doing something and seeing how you feel about it.
Attraction grows with time. It's normal to not be into older men when you're young. I've heard plenty of people say this. As for identifying as gay if you really prefer men overall, you can call yourself that if you want. I call myself a lesbian but I'm actually bi.
Great point! I think we all like to think we're that way or this, and that what we are today will endure over time. One only need look at their own personal history to see that, in most things, whether it be feelings toward your friends, who you're romantically attracted to, what foods you like, or how you feel about your parents (puberty is often hell, isn't it?) and we see that we are all dynamic beings, we all change throughout our lives, and doesn't life have a really funny way of surprising us, gobsmacked and completely out of blue, from time to time?
Wow thank you guys so much for all your brilliant replies... i truly appreciate it... I have been in love yes... i had something going with a dude about 2 years ago... very little happened in terms of sexual stuff but i was deeply connected romantically with him... i was in love, no doubt... he was one of those feminine guys im into btw. It is, as you all point out, also my plan to start exploring my sexuality IRL... i already know im capable of having sexual and romantic feelings for guys IRL due to my relationship with that guy i mentioned above... So it seems to me that the obvious plan is to try and date girls...How do i go about this without being a total jerk? I mean im sort of using her to figure myself out, unless i actually enjoy it and get feelings for her... Also... i sometimes wonder if my lack of romantic attraction to girls is due to the fact that i never have had any females as an essential part of my life, besides my mom ofc.. i have never had any female friends or anything... so maybe its because i just dont know how it is to have a relationship with a Girl... Also in terms of expanding my taste in men as i get older... it just seems impossible... i have no attraction to men in their late 20’s +... so its like... if i happen to be gay, i Will never actually be happy because i cant find a partner im attracted to... unless i date 20 year old guys when im 40 but that is just too unrealistic... My hope is that by dating girls i discover a potential to actually develop romantic feelings for Them, so that when im older i am able to find a partner
I think you're still too hung up on this definition of "gay", "bi", "pizza", "sports car" whatever, and how that will form your feelings and behavior 5 and 20 years from now. Just as you can't know what you'll want on your pizza or what kind of sports car you may dream of having when you're 25 or 40 (honestly, give yourself a break!), you can't know who your love will be, especially since you and your future partner are infinitely more complex than pizza or sports cars, and the stakes of love are so much the greater. You aren't being a jerk if you date women to find out who you want, what you want: that's what dating is, by any measure! As long as you approach dating women with honesty and respect, go for it! After all, it's not as though she, he or they will be looking for an engagement ring, either, if you know what I mean.
