And it sucks. Okay so bit of a backstory here. I am a second year student at university, major in Japanese Studies. Last year was great. I started studying, met new friends, moved out and even picked up dancing again with a wonderful new team. I was having the time of my life until the end of the last semester of my studies. I had been feeling stressed a lot and I had been busy with so many different things. Even though I had a lot of fun dancing, studying, hanging out with friends and helping out at both university and my dance team, I was starting to feel nauseous a lot. After about 8 visits to the hospital, there was nothing to be found and I continued feeling sick. I ended up failing 2 of my 7 classes. This was a big deal because my university has an exchange program to Japan in the second year, but only for students who pass all their first year classes in one go. No possibility to go a year later or whatever. Of course, this left me super sad and I met up with the student counselor and other 'important' people from uni. They all told me I shouldn't be asking them and I had no valid reason for getting any help (i.e. an extra chance, a different program). Okay so I am super sad and still nauseous all the time as well as tired of everything. I ended up back in the doctor's office and after more blood tests and other stuff it turned out I am having a burnout. I spent my entire vacation in bed, sick and tired. I decided that I had to take it easier the next year and requested that I would only do 5 classes instead of 9 for the first semester of the second year of my studies. We got a new student couselor who was a lot nicer to me and she told me it was all good and I shouldn't hesitate to ask for her help. Unfortunately I continued feeling sick and I recently quit my last 2 classes I was doing. I decided to take it really easy and only do the 2 classes I still need to pass in the 2nd semester (starting in february). So now I am stuck at home, trying to recover and I am starting to doubt my interest in Japanese studies. I had fun in my first year, yes, but it also caused me a lot of stress and I didn't get anything in return for working so hard. They kicked me out of the exchange program and didn't help me at all. I'm struggling very hard with deciding what to do now. I did not quit Japanese studies, but I am looking at other studies in the meantime, because there might be something I like to do more. It feels like having to break up with someone you're still kind of in love with. I still love Japanese Studies, but I also do not want to go back and have to do the second year which is only tougher than the first. I don't have to choose before May, but I am stressing about this anyway because if I decide to continue doing Japanese Studies, I will need to keep up my Japanese.. So I am posting this here to just.. vent a little and possibly talk about this more because it is really bothering me. Thank you all for reading and hopefully things will turn out to be fine in the end.
First off, let me say how sorry I am you are having this experience. It seems pretty common for university students to suffer from a breakdown at some point in their academic career. I did too, in my very small college experience. The stress of everything eventually gets to you. Think about it, you are studying hard for a goal (9 classes is a huge course load!) and doing extracurricular activities as well. I wouldn't give up on Japanese Studies right now. Just rest. You loved it for a reason, and now you just need to recuperate your tired soul. When you feel better, maybe try to ease back into it and see if you still feel the love you felt before. If not, maybe a change is what you need. Don't give up! And don't feel bad that you need this down time. I'll be thinking about you. Best wishes.
こんにちは The first priority here is your health. I understand worrying about your next steps, but you won't be able to take them if you are sick. Many people have taken a break from their studies for one reason or another. It sounds like this may be the best for you right now. If you are still interested in Japanese studies, that's great. If you don't like this particular university, are there others where Japanese studies are offered? You would also not be the first person to change their area of study - if that's what you ultimately decide. Take care of yourself.
Thank you so much, your replies mean a lot to me ; w ; Unfortunately, there is no other university that offers a similar program. It's basically the one I'm doing now or something else entirely. I am going to different universities and schools to see what else is out there that I did not consider doing at first, because I was afraid of getting rejected (i.e. art schools that have a strict selection procedure and such). I am very excited about that too, but the thought of dropping out and changing so much scares me. (IF I would change my area of study, I would most likely need to move to a different city entirely and leave behind both my friends at university, but also my dance team, doesn't make it easier to choose, haha) I am trying to focus on getting better first, but I feel useless and lazy when I don't do anything and I get sick for about 4 days after leaving the house for a day. It also leaves a lot of time to think a little too much. My doctor told me to call a haptonomist, but I have been procrastinating because I am terrified of calling them (let's say out of the 5 times I had to call the hospital before, there was only one time the lady on the phone was nice to me, so they kind of scared me off). I'm sorry for rambling, haha. There's just so much going on and it is actually nice to get it off my chest. Again, thank you for your concern and advice, I really appreciate it <3
Don't make yourself feel worse by thinking yourself lazy or useless. Nobody would (or even should!) blame you for what is going on. You legitimately need this time off. So take those thoughts out of your mind and rest as much as possible. Your body knows what it needs. I know how scary calling people in the medical world can be! Oftentimes you get the cold shoulder. If you think this new approach might help, steel yourself and try and ignore the person on the other end of the phone. I honestly don't know how they get hired. *shakes head*
Thank you so much for your kind words ; w ; I am currently trying to find ways to still feel productive even as I rest. I found playing videogames and drawing to be nice because I get that feeling of accomplishment when I finish a game or drawing. I have also picked up making cards and am now working on lots of cards to send my friends and family for Christmas. I have not calles the haptonomist yet, though. I easily get nauseous just thinking about it and I am still not sure as to what I should be saying. I hope to figure that out soon and finally make the call.
I think you at least deserve some sort of update, so here goes: It took me long enough, but I finally sent the haptonomist an email. I will be calling on monday and making a first appointment, phew. I also picked up studying again and am reconsidering keeping Japanstudies as my major. I try to take things a little slower when it comes to my studies and I mainly try to have fun. The next thing I would like to tackle is that I'm still using the stomach meds I got prescribed months ago. Although it can't hurt to use them for longer periods of time, you're only supposed to use them for no more than 2 weeks. I've been using them for several months now and forgot one this morning. I didn't notice a difference until I realized I had forgotten to take the meds. Once I took it, I actually felt a little more nauseous. I don't dare to quit them yet, but maybe they're actually what's keeping me nauseous all the time..
