Difference in Types of Lesbian?

Keep in mind I am new to this stuff and a lot of this is arbitrary so there are a lot of ways to define these words, BUT my interpretation would be:
Butch: A masculine presenting/behaving woman. Some butches sometimes want to be the "top" or the dominant. Some butches want to be in a butch/femme dynamic where they only date femmes but this is an older concept that doesn't always hold true anymore and plenty of butches dates whomever.
Femme: A feminine presenting woman who can often be mistaken for straight. Sometimes femmes prefer to date butches. They also sometimes desire a submissive or "bottom" role in the relationship.
An Ultra Femme is like a Hard Femme or a Lipstick Lesbian. Basically the femmest of the femme. Even more so than a regular femme.
A Stud is like a Butch I think so more masculine.
A Soft Butch is like a more feminine version of a regular Butch so they might have more femme behavior or style. Ditto for the Soft Stud.
Tomboy: To me this is a girl who is more femme but dresses casually. Not so much masculine as not feminine if that makes sense? So no to heels yes to sneakers but no to really hard masculine looks as well.
I would call myself a tomboy.

 

Well I think the difference is a matter of degree? So butches are MORE masculine than tomboys. It's also not just about style but attitude. Though dress plays a role as well. I think butch women dress in clothes we associate more with men, or men's clothing, (though separating clothes by gender imho is ridiculous), and tomboys wear "women's" clothes, but they just dress down, wear more practical women's wear. Tomboy to me also can have some androgyny to it, though that is also a separate category, because it combines men's and women's styles, whereas butches seem to wear a primarily masculine look.

 

I hope I'm not offending anyone by saying this, but why do we need categories? I find this especially confusing for a lot of us who are just discovering our sexuality and who we are. I feel that these can be as fluid as how a person feels during the day. It fluctuates, evolves and changes with each passing moment. I live in Arizona and I'm always playing out in the desert in my jeep. Most of the time I would say I fall into the category of a tomboy because I'm sure as hell not going to wear my little black dress out climbing rocks. Maybe I'm the weird one, buy my degree of feminism changes as quickly as my mood does. I don't want to be put into one category or another, we're not cast into molds that we have to adhere to. I can go from grunge to looking like a Disney princess in one day and I'm cool with that. This is just me rambling, I'm sure some of us want to fit a certain stereotype, it feels comfortable.

 

I agree. I mean, if you use it as shorthand to explain what you like don't like/your personal style then sure. It's a cultural thing I think for a lot of women and tat can be fun. But I'll be honest I like to play with different roles and stuff and not be locked into ONE category. I can be all and any of the above if I want on any day of the week. I just go with what feels good that day.

 

I messed up the above post but you get the idea I think. Basically I think labels are for fun more then anything else. They're a role to me and one I change whenever I want.

 

Heads up: an actual person is never a stereotype. A stereotype is a generalization constructed by others, often a flawed one - a human being is a human being, no matter how they chose to present, and so they're unique, never a stereotype.

These 'categories' are ways that people use to express their identities, they are not (should not) be forced on anyone but can be very helpful to some people in expressing their identity. Same as how some people will choose to call themselves goth or emo or whatever and other people will dress a certain way without attaching a label to it. Both of those are ok! Labels are not for everyone, but let's not take them away from people who do want to use them to express themselves.

weary, a lot of the terms you've listed here overlap or depend on context/the culture they stem from. they're not strict categories, but rather labels that people adapt to fit their own expression. Love4ever got the distinction between butch/femme pretty good there: this distinction is one with a very long history to it that is very lesbian-specific in its origin, unlike for example tomboy which has always been used for boy-ish girls in general, regardless of their orientation. Other terms are used in various different ways. "Soft butch" for example to some people means a less masculine butch, while for others it just means adhering to a different type of masculinity than what they perceive butch people to do. Stud is a term with roots in the black lesbian community to refer to a masculine presenting lesbian. A lot of the times these are terms with histories to them, which means to sum them up in an easy list would do injustice to them, but also wouldn't be helpful because on the surface, they all kind of look the same. I mean, studs, butches, tomboys are all masculine, and how this masculinity is presented depends on the individual, and someone who calls themselves a tomboy may look much more masculine than a stone butch (stone butch, popularized by leslie steinberg generally refers to a butch lesbian who does not want to be touched sexually). To really understand what's at the foundation of the different categories you'd have to dive into the literature about them, but even then you'd find many different ways people use these labels to express themselves and how they make it their own. Two people using the same label may be entirely different in how they present.

They're labels - not strict categories. Use one if you feel comfortable with it, but don't worry if there isn't one that explains your experience. The butch/femme distinction has been around for a long time and while it is a visible thing many people hear about, most lesbians do not actually fit into those categories! And all those other categories often refer to the same or similar things and also don't even get close to covering all possible ways to present. So don't worry too much about it! If you feel some comfort with the label tomboy go for it; if not don't pressure yourself to find one word to describe yourself. It's completely okay to just be You!

 

I have to say that I can also go from super masculine to ultra femme on one day, ha ha. The first one is for comfort and work, the latter is fun Now, it doesn’t help my case as a trans man, but that’s comprehensible to most that sometime you just want to look great and have fun with it. Hence I’d say I fall more into the category of tomboy or soft butch than butch. Disney princess, no, maybe not But I like to wear an occasional skirt and jewelry and makeup.

 

I can imagine... I'm not even sure what they mean... Just say, "Try me on... you might like me" or something. Dating is hard enough as it is without having to worry about carrying the abridged version of LGBT encyclopedia.

 

I did a quiz once it said I was a chapstick lesbian, I didn’t realize there was so many stereotypes of lesbians. I feel overwhelmed sometimes trying to figure all the different lingo out.