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How did you decide whether transition was right for you?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Chris2018, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. Chris2018

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    Im a 31 y/ afab and am struggling with whether or nit to transition. I know i feel happier being percieved as a guy. I know id be happier male bodied and i know i feel more comfortable as a gay man than a straight woman.

    That being said, im a mother and in a heterosexual marriage. I love my kids and my husband. I love being "mom".

    I hate my chest, hate that i am female bodied and just have a general self esteem issue with my body.

    I have extreme social anxiety and know that i wont be accepted by most famiky and probably friends as well. I am pretty sure if i could transition and still be mommy to my kids and not have to deal with social repercussions of transitioning i would.

    So how did you ultimately decide to transition? I have just as many valid reasons to transition as i do to not transition. Its hard because i have dysphoria and sometimes its bad but mostly i can deal with it in my own way for now.
     
  2. Pret Allez

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    Hey, I really hope you decide to start making the journey soon.

    Honestly? For me it was a matter of giving myself permission. I never felt like I was trans enough, and that I wasn't valid. One day I just called an informed consent clinic, walked in, and talked about how I felt. It was like a super non-threatening, 10 minute conversation. After a second appointment, they had me on HRT. Just like that.
     
  3. Aberrance

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    I decided when I realised that I wouldn't be alive for much longer if I didn't transition. I had to hit the very bottom and experience extremely intense dysphoria after having questioned for a few years to realise that transition was a need rather than a want. I think you need to realise in your own way and own time, it took me years to question and then further years to get on HRT and have surgeries because of the medical sustem here but I know in myself that I did things for me, wasn't rushed in to anything and I can be completely content and happy in my transition. I think that's the main thing, we can't tell you the determining factor that decides whether or not you should transition, hopefully at some point down the line that will come to you itself.
     
  4. RainbowGreen

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    Well, I just realized that I could not keep going without changing things. I hit a wall.

    I realized what I was feeling wasn't normal, for a cis girl at least. I was hiding my body, could not bear to look at it and did not want anybody else to know what it looked like. I was saddened to see all the guys getting taller, having facial hair and a lower voice, while I seemed to be forever stuck looking like a 12 year old. I realized it wasn't normal to keep searching things like ''I wish I was a boy'', ''I want to be a boy'' on Google.

    I found stuff talking about transition and testosterone and I recognized myself in it. At first, I thought it wasn't really for me, but then I realized I had no excuse to think that. ''Why couldn't I get this?'' ''Why don't I deserve to be happy too?'' So, I started to look at how I could start things, and then I came out.

    I can tell you that I'm 1000x times happier since I did this. I was a miserable person in my teens, and now, I'm finally someone people like to be around and I can feel comfortable with myself. The choice I made, really, was to make myself happy. I never really saw transition as other than a necessity when I learned it was possible.
     
  5. BradThePug

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    I realized that I had 2 choices. I knew that if I continued to live as female I would not live much longer. If I transitioned I knew that that it would let me live a longer, happier life. I could never see myself continuing to live as female. So, I decided to take the chance and start transitioning. I had to get the letters from the therapist. I transitioned before informed consent clinics were really big. Once I had my letter, I found out an informed consent clinic opened up near me. So I had my letter sent there. I was given a script for T on my first visit.
     
  6. Chris2018

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    Thanks everyone. I know for me...im not suicidal, and i dont think i can not continue as a female. I do feel like I would live happier as a guy.

    Maybe i will just continue to explore who i am and how i feel. I know im getting older as far as transition goes, but maybe i can wait a few years befire i medically and socially transition.

    What are some physical transitioning things i can do...im already allowing my body hair to grow. Im considering cutting my hair. I wan5 to get a binder qnd then hopefully after wearing thr binder a bit ill start with a packer.
     
  7. Pret Allez

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    It's your agency, and I hope you feel emboldened to do whatever is comfortable. You're always valid, and you're always enough.
     
    Mihael likes this.