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swimming? (trans*)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by toothpaste, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. toothpaste

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    I love swimming. i love being in the water. doing laps. love it. its one of the only sports that i enjoy, and i'm pretty good at it.
    problem: I'm trans. still figuring it out, but definitely not a girl, and very uncomfortable with most gendery things.
    i've done somethings to feel better: changing my name, getting a binder. i cut my hair kinda short. but most people probably see me as a girl. i still wear my "girl" clothes because i'm too anxious to get different clothes. speaking of, another problem: i've got really bad depression and anxiety. like i can't go to school and i'm barely alive levels of depression and anxiety.
    anyways, my brother is trying high school swim team and he wants me to help him so he'll be ready for it. my mom also wants me to go because she knows it'll be good for me to get out of the house and do something. i'm hesitant to go because i'm really scared, but i do want to swim..
    so i guess i'll try to list out all the pros and cons i can think of? any advice would be so appreciated. i do know that ultimately, i'm the one who has to choose, but honestly just typing it out on here helps me think and even if no one answers this post i think it'll help so yeah.

    pros: i get to swim and i love swimming, its good to get out and do things (good for my body/mind), i won't be bored which means i will feel better and have less destructive thoughts, i'm helping my brother

    cons: i might hurt my shoulder more, i might feel uncomfortable in a swimsuit, locker rooms, social anxiety

    if i do go, would it be better to present as a girl, a boy, or more neutral. i think going as a girl is the easiest because i have all the stuff and my face is pretty feminine. but, it will make me feel uncomfortable. going as a boy would be harder because i don't know much about it or how i would do it, and it kind of scared me to use the male locker room. and i guess i would feel more comfortable presenting more neutral but i have no idea how i would achieve that. also, i'd be going to swim laps, not just to play around, so i'm not sure if board shorts (which is what i see most trans guys/nb ppl wear to swim) would be good for that. do i need tighter swim shorts like the ones my friends on swim team wore? or am i overthinking and the looser shorts are fine? should i even wear shorts? what do i do about locker rooms? i'm?? anxious????

    i just want to swim. but i'm so anxious. even before i started to think about the gender thing a lot, going to the pool made me really anxious, so adding another layer makes me extra worried.. i do worry a lot though..
    help??
     
  2. toothpaste

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    i forgot to say this but!! i have an old shoulder injury that affects both shoulders and basically my whole upper back and lower neck area when i swim. i can swim, but i have to be careful about it, and when i do its only about 30~45 min (compared to the much longer and harder ~1hr 30 min swim team practices i used to do), usually ending with an ice pack. i usually cannot wear a bra because it hurts my shoulders too much, even if the straps are loose. i can wear a binder, but i'm really careful about it and try not too wear it too much because i don't want it to hurt. that being said.. i'm not sure if wearing a binder to swim would be the best idea for me, but i don't know much so yea
     
  3. staries

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  4. Mihael

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    this could pose a problem. just saying.

    I don't think sportswear is particularily gendered if you decide to go for sportswear for women. When it comes to clothes. If you want to swim more like for sport, then more fancy swimsuits tend to fall off if you e.g. jump into the pool or swim fast. So I'm not sure about loose shorts and fancy bikinis. But idk, I never wore board shorts to the swimming pool. I always use them when I go to the beach, especially when sitting on the beach and not swimming. But that might just be a comfort thing, some bikini bottoms make me feel naked. So I wear the loose shorts over the bikini bottom and with the top.
     
  5. Crisalide

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    Some pools ban board shorts, some don't. I swam in them (on the beach) and they don't fall off.
    I don't know if it's wise to wear whatever kind of binder after a shoulder injury. :/
    Anyway, good... luck? I wish you to enjoy swimming so much that you forget about dysphoria :wink:
     
  6. Beckett G

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    I'd probably reccomend wearing somethibg like a swim tank/rash guard and like some tighter shorts. (Something like spandex almost, but more androgynous.)

    I think there's a brand called Outplay that makes androgynous swimwear, but you could probably just google search for some similar swimwear.
     
  7. toothpaste

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    hey!! thanks to everyone who responded. i did go swimming a couple days ago with my brother. it was kind of short notice and i was in a good mood so i decided to just go with what i'm used to (girl's swimsuit, women's locker room, no binder), and hope for the best. it went well. i really love swimming so when i was actually swimming i wasn't dysphoric at all!! when i wasn't i just tried to think about the swimming and not the bad stuff. i guess this will work for now, but i'm going to look into more stuff. again, thanks so much guys
     
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  8. Brandy Bee

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    Could a unisex swimsuit work for you, like a one piece racing suit that covers everything except for arms and legs below the knees? I'm not sure how to feel more comfortable in the locker room, I struggle with that too, but the racing suits are very unisex in some cases, plus since you're already a good swimmer, maybe this type of suit will make you even faster in the water!