I am emotionally exhausted and devastated. My stomach is churning. My girlfriend has split up with me and said some pretty harsh things. Despite this I am still in love with her and would struggle to say no even if she turned around and wanted me back. In part she cannot cope with me in my current mental state. But she has also said that I am too open and intense and that she should feel proud to be with me when with her family and friends but doesn't. The last point really really hurts and I feel is unjustifiably harsh. I am really finding this so hard as yesterday we were both experiencing passion and physical desire. She rated the sex, just not me. For me it was also very very much about showing love and tenderness through touch and caress and kiss....I wanted her so much even though I found it difficult to come myself. I don't know what I will do with these physical feelings of love. I cannot sleep through anxiety about my job and now the added pain....
I’m am sorry you are suffering right now. As someone who suffers with anxiety I know how difficult it can be.
Thanks guys. I am in pieces. Let me know if I can ever support or advise you in any way. I need to find other ways to give love to as many people as possible other than making love to the woman I hoped I'd grow old with. There's lots in my heart to go around...
She has tried to communicate with me by What's App.Can't cope with further texts inviting me to be friends.
@Peterpangirl heartbreak always hurts for a while, if she still wants a a friendship do you think you can handle that.
I can understand that. She didn’t need to say as much as she did, particularly as she must know how you’ve been feeling about yourself due to work. It’s beyond thoughtless. Tell her you need space. You can always block her if you need to. Prioritise yourself. Do what you need to do.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, big hugs. Deep breaths, one step at a time. It's so understandable you were wanting to be intimate even after all of that, all of that passion and need is still there, I know how that feels <3 Take care of yourself, take some deep breaths, and try to process your feelings one step at a time.
Thank you. Yes. Having flash backs of her in the night tonight: her smile, holding her and stroking and kissing her hair....and so many more things. The raw passion and desire between us in the hours before we broke up. It is hard to comprehend how someone can show so much sexual desire towards me, have seen me in my darkest hour of need, then push me away so hard. She asked me if there was something I was not telling her, as if I have a long history of anxiety/ psychiatric problems. I am many things, but no liar. Told me certain things were weird about me - like how I suddenly shook and cried violently in great conclusive sobs in a vehement reaction to "Blue is the Warmest Colour" a couple of months back. When she has been spiralling out of control I was there for her. I am not always like this praying to God in the night because I'm so anxious, sobbing and clinging to her like a leaf - not always the needy one. In fact I held down a het life and work and kids for 20 years. She has recently told me she can see me as a counsellor....and yet....she tells me she doesn't understand me as she didn't understand her husband for different reasons and she cannot see a future with me. She knows I have a smaller support network than her and she knew that after the breakup I returned 2 and a half hours to an empty house yesterday. I couldn't have abandoned her in this place. But she abandoned me when she saw me at my very weakest, needy and unstable. Not my usual self, but my darkest self Baristajedi.
Hey peterpangirl I am so sorry she did that to you and I can only imagine how painful that was but you know deep down you deserve better than that. We all have dark times and times when we need to lean on someone and that is part and parcel of being in a relationship. She has shown her true colours. I know it hurts now but it will get better. Keep taking deeps breaths.
Those were harsh words indeed! I'm so sorry. Did she not say anything before or did she just drop it on you like a bomb? It's hard to make these things better with words. Russell Brand did a wonderful video on breaking up a few days ago. But when you're still in love with someone it's of limited use. I recommend it anyway while hoping it can be fixed.
I’m so sorry peterpangirl, it sounds so cold and harsh. Which of course makes it so much more painful now, but in the end will make it feel more right that it’s over. She clearly isn’t able to be a support to you, and you deserve so much better. Keep venting and sharing, it really hurts I know. We’re all here to listen. <<<<<<hugs>>>>>>
I am sorry you are going through this. Make sure that you take care of yourself. Do what helps you get through the hour; listen to music, watch your favourite movie, enjoy a cup of coffee. What helps me calm down when my mind is racing or hazy is the 5-4-3-2-1 approach. 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. It is a grounding coping strategy that I have been using for several years. **Hugs**
