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Is he bi or gay

Discussion in 'For Parents and Family Members of LGBT People' started by Momof5, Oct 12, 2018.

  1. Momof5

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    I am sooo confused. My son came out told us he is bisexual. Could care less. His si lings are fine with it too. My husband? Not so much. He doesnt want him
    “Telling people”. Anyways, im confused because my son just told me he thinks he dates girls because he can use them to talk to? He s 23. I advised counselling. I think he s gay, not bisexual. He sounds confused to me. Is he confused? Or afraid to be honest.
     
  2. Rade

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    Im bi/gay guy. I have way more female friends than male. I find them easier to talk too and to off load my problems . Your son may be being honest with you on this one . Sexuality isn't black and white, he is still young and finding his way in life.
    He may need to date people of opposite/same sex to know. So perhaps being bi suits him for now . I use the term not straight and people can make their own judgement.....
    Coming out isn't easy and his dad may need extra time to adjust ....once he sees his son happy, dad will be happy for him.
     
  3. Chip

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    It could be either. An awful lot of people, when first coming out, say they are bi, either because they genuinely believe it, or because they are "cushioning the blow". Of course, there are plenty who are genuinely bisexual, but plenty of others who use the label as a bridge identity while getting comfortable with themselves.

    Therapy is always a great idea for someone who is unsure.
     
  4. Love4Ever

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    Let him figure it out on his own. No one knows his sexuality better than he does. It takes time sometimes. Any and all alternatives are fine. Let him choose what, if any label he wants.
     
  5. Beckett G

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    I actually deal with this myself as a guy who is bi. It's probably because it's easier for him to talk to girls. (The same with me.) Maybe he just has a preference for guys, but is still interested in girls...?
     
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  6. eismeister

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    Sorry to hear his father isn't accepting. Could that be a reason he says he is bisexual rather than gay? Sometimes, people say they are bisexual during their journey of self-discovery because they aren't quite sure yet. Not to say he could be. Whether he is bisexual or gay, counseling could help either way. It helps to at least talk it through with someone who is neutral and not involved to figure things out. The main thing is that he needs time to figure things out and the space to do so.
     
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  7. JShan

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    If he says he’s bi, it’s best to assume he’s bi until he says otherwise. So long as he knows you’re on his side no matter what, he’ll tell you if that changes.
     
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  8. Love4Ever

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    I agree. His sexuality, he defines it.
     
  9. brainwashed

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    Agree with this statement 100%. I said I was bi before I said I was gay. And I'm a gay guy who thinks a well kept woman's body is beautiful.
     
  10. brainwashed

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    I will close with, a) don't worry about labels. and b) the dad needs counseling.
     
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  11. Cas girl

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    He is still young. He will date people of same and opposite gender. If he is comfortable with both,then he is bi. If not he is gay or straight. Don’t pressure him to choose a label. As long as he is happy, a label should not matter.
    Just give him time. Show him you support his decision.
    All the best with his dad.

    P.s. have you considered family counseling?
     
  12. jacobdork

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    I concur, but to add on:
    You should care, but you shouldn't care. You should support him, but don't be over-abrasive with support.