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Share lesbian online dating experiences?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by 18breanna, Oct 28, 2018.

  1. 18breanna

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    I'm really considering using lesbian internet services/apps to find a date in my area. I've done some research, but I want some personal primary sources. If you have experiences to share that would help me know what I'm getting into, drop them down below.
    This isn't something that I just want to rush into, and I'm a bit unsure. What have you all experienced? Also, what apps/websites have given you the best results in terms of finding a genuine, loving connection with a lesbian girl?
    Thank you :grin:
     
  2. bicubed

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    Hey! I'm new to the online dating thing too. So far I've had one date and hopefully a second date soon with a girl I met on ###### (yes im freaking out!!!). ###### is good for introductions, but also can feel a bit disconnected from reality (I blame the swiping, its like a video game or something lol). From what I've experienced/heard, try to avoid the trap of messaging for weeks and never actually meeting - try to get their number if you feel a connection. Another problem with ###### is if you do match with someone, not a lot of girls message first. It is a very popular app though, so it could be worth it. I feel awkward writing long descriptions/bios about myself so I didn't really like #######, but if you like learning more information about a person before talking to them you might like it! HER is also good i think.
     
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  3. bicubed

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    I didn't realize the names of the apps can't be shown, woops! The advice is generic to most apps. I prefer the "swipey" ones to the "long questionnaire" ones but that's just my preference.
     
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  4. 18breanna

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    Huh, I was wondering why there were a bunch of # signs there, I just assumed it wad the name of a trendy new app LOL but thank you for the info. If you are comfortable, can you share the experience you had on the date? What is the chemistry like when meeting an online friend for the first time?
     
  5. 18breanna

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    Either are fine with me
     
  6. Lin1

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    I use apps a lot and while the girls I have liked most I have actually met very naturally in completely random settings ( parties, mall, friend of friend) I met my ex girlfriend through a dating app, and often go on dates with girls from dating apps.

    I find it a very good way to get to know women without having to worry if they are gay/queer.
     
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  7. weary

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    I don't like swipe ones like her or I don't know how to use them. There is like absolutely no info about the person, just their pic. I prefer ones that allow written info from the person so I can get a feel about who they are. But I have recently been looking at profiles and have run across many that are duplicates of other profiles but with different pictures and info. Don't know if they are old accounts not deleted or what. I haven't been on a date yet with any of them, but I can say after a few msg back and forth if they don't want to actually meet, then I'm done. You gotta be real and verifiable.
     
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  8. 18breanna

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    True this is the biggest advantage I see to using apps and sites. I am really into femme/girly girls so it can be hard to tell sonetimes.
    I have found that the app's bio area doesn't provide detailed enough info sometimes.
    That's another issue with casual apps, they are easy to sign up for so not everyone os serious. I wouldn't consider signing up for a paid service but I like that they are more reputable.
     
  9. LittleLamb

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    I don't have a successful story but I will share this, I've been online dating sites for 8 years, but for several years I was actually looking for a guy (I should've known why that wasn't working) but anyways, I'm taking a break (since May actually) but I'm planning on going back after the holidays. I don't belong to any of the sites you have to pay because if it doesn't work then I just wasted money, I've also done this in the past. I've tried plenty of fish, ####### and match. I didn't like ### and match is too expensive. ####### is the one I go back and forth on, it's free but there's a drawback, you have to pay to see who 'liked' you and who viewed your profile which sucks because this used to be free. I wasn't able to initiate conversation because I never could view who liked me. I liked several profiles only to be blocked (a downside to online dating or I suppose anywhere online) However, if this is something you're interested in there's no harm in making a profile and seeing what happens.
     
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  10. 18breanna

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    Thank you so much for your response this is a good idea of what I might be getting into. I'll honestly try and report back!
     
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  11. Hawk

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    I find a lot of dating apps/sites are going the way of "looks" over personality. Most apps I've seen are based off of a person's profile picture, and they seem very shallow. The first thing a person sees is your picture, and maybe very little personal information. I honestly haven't had much luck with these apps/sites, though I think it's mostly 'cause I'm not a huge fan of trying to hold a text-conversation and trying to keep the other person involved. It's also hard to do it when both parties don't initiate the conversation.

    Oh well, I'm happy having my independence and I don't think I'm quite ready to settle down with someone just yet.
     
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  12. 18breanna

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    If you have instagram try her story personals. They cater to this type of profile.
     
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  13. eismeister

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    I've had some weird and some great experiences using apps/online.

    I live in Ireland, where people are not exactly open in many communities (thank you Catholicism). Using apps/online is a great way to overcome this.

    A few girls I met online/app were odd and I think you can run into weirdos anywhere. However, I met my current girlfriend on an app, so there is success!
     
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  14. bicubed

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    Hey! sorry I just saw this. Second date was weird 'cause she pretty much invited me out to the bar with a bunch of her friends. So it was sort of a date but not really, I was pretty nervous but had fun. After the date we kissed (which was great!) but then I tried to set up a 3rd date but she was really busy that week and also isn't a big texter. She told me she'd call me later. I waited a couple of days and didn't hear from her and sent a courtesy "how's it going" text which she never responded to so I officially got ghosted. So I'm back on the apps, just trying to be a bit more brave and message people first instead of waiting and hoping.

    I'm kinda miffed about the ghosting since she repeatedly told me she liked me. Maybe she thought I wasn't into her? Clearly wasn't meant to be, but it was a nice first date/kiss experience otherwise.
     
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  15. Minaethiel

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    Heya

    I wrote the same post nine months ago. I live in Italy, dating apps, especially for lesbians, aren't that popular.
    But I really liked how Her was built. I chatted with some girls, it was chill, as I live in a small town and don't have
    many queer people to talk to. I wasn't desperately looking for the love of my life, it was just a way to pass time.
    Then one day I got matched to a girl who complimented my cats pictures from my instagram.
    A month later I started to realize I really enjoyed talking to her, and I started to like her a lot.
    We met quite far from my town, in the city where she studied, and something immediately clicked. It was like
    we always knew each other. Then fate made his move:grin:: that day started snowing. An awful lot of snow. I had to stay at her place for like five days. Five wonderful days. We got together somewhere between the day I got there and the day I left I think. I love her a lot.:blush:
    Do try dating apps!
     
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  16. 18breanna

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    Awww that's so sweet! Snow is so pretty!
     
  17. 18breanna

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    Ah Ive heard of ghosting. Thanks for your input I will try not to let it get me down..
     
  18. rainy30

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    Hey, I'm a bisexual woman and I've been using these dating apps for several years. Note: I'm not someone who has one night stands or casual sex/flings - if I'm dating, I'm essentially hoping to find a serious relationship with someone I share a deep emotional/physical connection with.

    The only one I use now is called 'Her' and it's one of the most popular apps. My experience using the app has been okay. It's a good way to meet queer people or just make a new friend. However, I've never felt strongly enough about the girls I've met through the app to develop a relationship with them. My only serious, long-term girlfriend in the past was a woman I met in person at work and I was friends with her beforehand. My attraction to her developed naturally through seeing her in person, talking, interacting with her etc. From there, I finally asked her out and we were together for two years. It was the most amazing and most life-changing relationship I've ever experienced. Unfortunately, it didn't work out for several reasons, and I'm single now.

    Over time, though, I've been on many dates with several women I've met through the app, but I've just found that I'm never attracted to them enough to want to be with them. I believe this has something to do with the fact that you have to talk via the app or by text first, before even meeting. Therefore, you develop expectations and pre-conceived ideas about what they're going to be like or look like. I've found that it's very hard not to develop these expectations or false hopes. Honestly, I haven't met with any girls from the app in a really long time. Sometimes I swipe through when I'm bored, but these days I rarely talk to people I match with and nor do I initiate to meet up. I've come to the conclusion that I really prefer meeting people in person, or knowing them/being attracted to them in person first, and then asking them out for a coffee date from there.

    Of course, not everyone takes dating as seriously as I do. My past experiences have simply taught me that I do not feel any desire to be in relationships with people I meet online. It just doesn't work for me. However, if you're just looking to have some fun or have a casual relationship, you'll find many girls through the apps who want the same thing. You might even find someone you can have a great relationship with. Everyone's experience is different, so I wish you the best of luck!