Bicurious or Bisexual?

Well I’m not bi, but I went through something similar at the beginning of my journey. It’s actually not uncommon for people to go their whole lives thinking they’re straight before something happens that awakens their dormant same sex feelings. I thought I was straight and I thought the way I felt about guys was how all straight girls felt about them. Before I really started examining my identity, I never had that feeling of “being different”. But as I got more comfortable with the fact that I’m attracted to women I started remembering things that I forgot about, or misinterpreted. You may start to realize that you had crushes on girls when you were younger, and just assumed you wanted to be like them, or that you just wanted to be their friend. You may not, and that’s totally normal and valid too. But it sounds like you have a real, concrete crush on a girl, which is not something that straight, bicurious girls do. If you’ve actually developed feelings for her, that may be a sign that you’re a bit further up the Kinsey scale than you may have thought.

Just know that you’re not alone in discovering you’re sexuality this way, especially when we live in such a heteronormative society. Uncovering these feelings, and making since of them is a process. A long one. But it’s something every single queer person has been through and can relate to. This is a confusing process but it is something you’ll get through!

 

I had a crush on another girl at age 11, but afterwards had crushes on boys, and because I didn't have any more crushes on girls for a while, I put it to the back of my mind. When I started noticing attraction to women in general, I assumed it was a kind of fetish as I didn't experience much emotional attraction - or so I thought. In fact, it manifested itself, but just not in a form that I was able to identify, possibly because I didn't expect it, but partly also because I think a woman's attraction to a woman just feels different. I flirted with women now and then without really observing it.

I think I could get into a relationship with the right woman, it's just that my personality type seems to fit with more men than women.

 

I had moments of hiding because of cultural shame. To answer now at 36.....I've been bi since 4 years old. Thought boys and girls were cute from the start of attraction to being sexual both ways. Don't worry about being curious or being bi.....just don't listen to any crap you read from anywhere saying go bang someone to see if you like it etc. Do what feels right in respect to yourself and if I can answer better please feel free to ask me a question

 

Not everyone knows. We live in a culture where we are supposed to be straight. Because of this we don't explore other options because we are told it's wrong or we assume everyone is born straight. That's not true though and it takes us sometimes a while to see past that. We can also have internal biases inside us form messages we have been taught or internalized. I have a lot of those myself that I did not acknowledge and confront for years. My feelings for women were hidden under layers of self esteem issues. I am still attracted to men but I used my attraction to men to hide my insecurities and thus my attraction to women buried under this. But the internalized homophobia and negative feelings about myself, prevented me from seeing it to the point where I would maybe have never known it was there if I hadn't sat myself down, and actually asked myself what my sexuality was instead of assuming.

 

I identify as a bisexual but I've been using the lesbian label for a while to get comfortable with it. My attraction to men is sexual but as for dating I want a girlfriend.