After a lot of thinking, I've realized two very important things: I want to propose to my partner soon, and I've already found her ring, almost a year before the proposal. I'll bet you're reading those and you're like, "Well that's great!" And it is...except it's not. There are two things keeping me from squeeing with excitement: First, I haven't told my mother. My loving but super homophobic mother really likes my girlfriend, but hates us together. If she knew if was asking The Question, I am beyond positive she would flip shit, and not in a good way. Second, I don't know her ring size and don't want to risk going to a jeweler that isn't LGBT-friendly/owned in order to find out (the ring is an antique, so sizing needs to be really exact). The good news is, I'm not planning to tell her until after I buy the ring, but I need to find out the size first. Do any of y'all know if the typical jewelers in the mall (Kay, etc) are safe? And how do you suggest I break the news to her? Because I couldn't contain my excitement, here's the ring!
I would think maybe someplace like Clair's or other teen girl orientated stores would have enough rings you could maybe get close with those. Maybe go together under the guise of her helping you pick out just a cute ring to wear all the time, or matching friendship rings. Something fun and cute that also doesn't break the bank. Then you both have each other's sizes for maybe birthday or Christmas presents. I apologize as I don't have any suggestions on dealing with your mother.
Wow congrats! As for the ring I honestly don't know. You definitely want it sized properly. Gosh I didn't even realize that it might be hard to find someone who would size an engagement ring for a same sex couple. I would think there would be people who would not be homophobic who work in some of those larger jewelers? Surely there are? But I don't know how you'd know for sure. Have you considered calling and asking? As for your mom, that's trickier. She knows your girlfriend and likes her I'm assuming? You may have to just sit her down and tell her. It may take time but she'll come around.
I agree with the stuff with the jeweler, you can call ahead and check, but if you do use one from a major company they don't really have as much of a basis to refuse you service. As far as your mom, having an open and honest conversation with her about this might be a good way to go. Try not to get upset, even if she does. Model the behavior you'd like her to have. Try your best to be calm and respectful, and maybe she might be able to process it a little bit better. But, you know your mom best, so go with your gut and do what you think will have the best outcome. Good luck to you and your partner, I wish you many happy years together!
For the ring, borrow one of your girlfriend's rings and use it for sizing for the actual ring (beautiful choice of ring btw) , for your mom let her flip and ignore (easy to say I know) she will come around to it eventually and if she doesn't don't let it ruin your excitement, her prejudice is hers to deal with not yours. Good luck, and congratulations in advance!
No problem! I honestly am still new to this whole thing myself. I think it takes being in a minority to realize that things other people take for granted are a reality.
I honestly wouldn't worry about the jeweler. We never even thought about finding LGBT friendly jewelers. We shopped around quite a lot when we were looking for rings and always got really top notch service. Not only did no one mind, most sales people correctly assumed we were in the market for wedding rings.
