For the past 2 weeks, I've been having a crush on a beautiful, talented and smart girl. It all started when she was giving attention to me from the very first time she saw me. Like I entered the room, she saw me and started talking to me. I was shocked, it wasn't something that I expected, but she made me smile. I have a low self esteem, so besides this encounter, I didn't really say too much. We met at an LGBT friendly bar. She is bi. The way she approached me from the very first second made me think that maybe she is attracted to me. Today I saw her again at an event. As the event went by, I felt that I was falling more and more in love with her. The way she looks, the way she talks, the way she behaves...she is just my type. However, except some more eye contacts, nothing happened. I am sad now for two reasons 1 - I didn't feel confident enough to approach her 2 - She didn't say anything to me, which hurts more than 1. Now I think this girl doesn't like me at all and the way she approached me was just something friendly. I am sad and almost feel like crying. She is beautiful, I want to hug and kiss her right in this moment. Any advice? Do you think she might like me?
If you were both strangers to each other, and she approached you, then that sounds in your favour. Maybe she wasn't sure how out you were and didn't want to out you. Maybe she was with her family/friends and didn't want to out herself to them. Maybe she thought "I approached the first time, if she's interested in me, she'll approach me this time". Or maybe last time she had a few drinks and was feeling a bit more brave and this time is feeling like you are, wondering why you didn't approach her.
The second she saw me she stood up, came with me in the bar and started talking to me random things like, this is the table where I stand and I charge my phone here I was shocked because I have low self esteem and it’s difficult to approach someone when you have it. I am sad nothing happened today, except some eye contacts, I am wondering she doesn’t like me at all now Besides the fact that she is pretty she is also a strong and smart woman
You said you were a bit shy and didn't say much, could it be that she interpreted your shyness for not being interested? Do you only bump into her by chance or do you actually have a form of contact (FB, her phone number etc...)? If you have her facebook or a phone number, I would text her a simple " Hey, was nice seeing you at x, we should totally hang out sometimes!" obviously she talked to you first which means she was keen to get to know you, worst case scenario she doesn't answer or say no, but at least you would know where you stand and best case scenario you get to hang out and see where it goes, life is too short to overthink everything!
I found her FB and Insta (did not add her, just stalked) but it’s so hard because I know nothing about her...she might be bi, but that doesn’t mean that she is single, what if she has someone and then I send her a message to hang out? It would make me feel really stupid. When we had more eye contacts, all I was feeling was the need to kiss her, to hug her. I don’t know what to say, my low self esteem and my rejectiom fear seems to win once again
Well you won't find out if you don't ask her, she might not be single (which I doubt if she so happily came to talk to you), but so what? You can still hang out (platonically/as friends) and there is nothing embarassing about asking someone to hang out (it's not even asking someone out on a date, not that it would be embarassing either!) even if they reject you, it takes guts. I have rejected people in the past never did I feel they were stupid or embarassing for asking me out, I was flatered and quite sincerly admired their guts. I have also got rejected and didn't feel embarassed, I felt relieved that I knew where I stood and wouldn't have to spend weeks/months/years trying to read their behaviours towards me. It wasn't awkward and we all stayed friends. What would be "silly" is to miss out on an opportunity to date a girl you like for fear that she might not want to. You can't live your life in fear, because there is a risk to everything, she could do all the right things and you could end up dating yet there would still be the risk of her upping & leaving you one day, so you might as well take this risk.
I feel like talking to her, but I get lost when I see her. I enjoyed the eye contacts we had last night though. Do eye contacts mean something? One thing that also kinda stops me from approaching her is that I really don’t know what she’s up to. I mean, it never happened to me to be approached by a girl from the very first second she sees me. It could have been just a friendly attitude, without anything else as a meaning. She also looked at me and smiled when we first met. My experience in dating is 0, you can tell I don’t have experience because I don’t know how to read such behaviour. And it’s also hard for me to think at how such a good looking girl would be attracted to me, an average looking girl.
You can't let this opportunity pass for nothing, you want her. Whenever you get a chance to see her in person or Facebook just go up to her and have a conversation! I know your mind goes into a jumble of insecurities and fear in this situation. This happens to me too. Letting opportunities pass will hurt more than being possibly rejected. Much, much more. She approached you first, it's time to reciprocate. Don't over-analyze! I too get insecure around people I like. The least I do is smile and act nice around them. Just present your best aspects out there!
The problem is that I find it really hard to tell whether she approached me or she was just friendly...especially because last night she did nothing. I will see her again, this weekend I think, if not sooner
