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Crash and burn

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by baristajedi, Oct 16, 2018.

  1. baristajedi

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    Feeling really shit today, my girlfriend broke up with me. If you’ve followed my story, we’ve been through some massive stuff. I’m not sure what else to say....

    I think I screwed things up badly for my daughter by being involved with someone and trusting someone after my marriage split up. My daughter is so invested in our family that we were building. She’s already been through enough. I’m so unhappy about this for her.

    The reason behind it is, my ex girlfriend I suppose I should say now, she is struggling with her grief and that’s made her a fairly shitty partner to me and stepmom for my daughter. Not going to put it in nicer terms than that because this just caps off that experience of the last year.
     
    #1 baristajedi, Oct 16, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2018
  2. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @baristajedi

    I’m really sorry to hear that things haven’t worked out.

    I’m sure you’ve acted with the best interests of your daughter in mind, as your posts have always shown. You did what you felt was right at the time. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
     
  3. Lia444

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    Aww I’m so sorry, big hugs
     
  4. SevnButton

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    @baristajedi , I'm so sorry! Some people seem to just know the right things to say when something like this happens. I'm not one of those people. But I want you to know I'm sending you positive, healing vibes.
    Hugs!
     
  5. Ronfindsit

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    So sorry your having such a hard time of it. But second guessing steps Youve taken to get to were you are. (we've all made decisions based on what we felt was the best at the time). To let so affect the NOW that it blinds to the future.
    Hang in you've come to far.....
     
  6. I'm gay

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    Don't beat yourself up. You had good reasons to trust and you couldn't have known that her ex would commit suicide. That changed everything, and it wasn't your fault.

    You're teaching your daughter that life is full of changes and left turns, and we move forward as best we can. Staying in a bad relationship is worse, and that's an even worse lesson for your daughter. She will have her own trials in life, and she is now more armed than she was before.
     
  7. Peterpangirl

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    I'm so very very sorry. You must be feeling absolutely awful. Please don't beat yourself up about your relationship not working out. There were absolutely massive pressures on your relationship - and suicide must be the biggest of them all. You sound like a very loving and commited partner and I do feel one day you will find someone able to receive that and reciprocate.
     
  8. SoulSearch

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    I’m so sorry. I hope you can find ways to support your daughter as you both go through the grief and change.
     
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  9. looking for me

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    oh Hun I'm sooo sorry. I know what struggles you've been through, and how much you've tried to be there for her. and how little she has, it has appeared. I want to say these things happen but I know how shitty it is to put so much in and have so little in return and have it capped off with rejection. hold your daughter a bit tighter, reassure her that you aren't going anywhere, find a spot for both of you, or stay where you are if you can just the two of you. take some time, as much as you need. there is no finish line till you realize you've crossed it. I'm here if you need me. I check in a few times a week. and when you get full membership i'll PM you my contact information. super hugs for you and your daughter. much love to both of you.
     
  10. OnTheHighway

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    A big hug for you Baristajedi!
     
  11. silverhalo

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    Hey I'm sorry to hear that but as the others have said you can't beat up yourself up about it, you have always considered your daughter in every decision you have made. Just because something doesn't end up working out doesn't mean that getting into it was the wrong thing to do.
     
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  12. Mystic flower

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    I am so sorry to hear that. Please do not beat yourself up about it. I agree with everyone else, that you did everything you could do and more, and you considered your daughter in every decision you made.

    Take time for self care. I know you will be able to get back up stronger than you were. I have said it before, you are a true inspiration. Hugs
     
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