being transgender has made a huge impact on my life. Depression, social anxiety, a lack of self esteem and confidence in myself, gender dysphoria. literally hating my own skin so much I feel like I have to take a knife to it to feel better. I wish every day that I was cis. I hate being trans. It’s like an ugly scar. Something you want to get rid of but you can’t, it’s permanent and it’s always there. That’s why I hate so called “transgender pride”. How can I be proud of something I can’t control and something which has torn me up from the inside? A person is never proud of their depression. Nobody looks at their tumour and says “I’m so proud of it!”. It’s counter intuitive and ridiculous, celebrating something that shouldn’t be celebrated. I hope I’m not the only one with this view, but I just think it needs putting out there. I just need to get it off my chest.
I'm not proud to be trans either. I hate it and I wish I that I just could wake up as a cis male. And it doesn't make it better with having unsupportive parents.
I feel the same. I don't tell people and I don't make it a big deal in my life. Like you say, it's caused a lot of stress and anxiety, around £10,000 of my own money correcting my body to be able to just live my life and it will continue to cost me money until the day I die as hormones are lifelong. It's affected my studies and grades, my relationship with friends and family, stress with healthcare professionals. To be honest nothing good has come out of it and I will never be the person I see in my head. It's so disheartening but you do just have to look towards the future and work out how to live your best life, how to be the happiest and work towards that. Don't be proud to be trans, be proud to be you.
I think the "pride" is mostly a way of counterbalancing the past and present stigma. It means not being ashamed. It's a way of getting rid of others' hate or... pity. I've read that it's the second to last stage of coming out to oneself: denial > anger > bargaining > sadness > acceptance / pride > "just" acceptance.
i completely agree. i will never be proud to be transgender until i can feel happy and safe walking outside, and even then i won't be proud to be trans, i will be proud that i am finally myself.
I'm not transgender, but I feel the same way about being gay. I also don't understand how anyone can be proud of anything that they didn't choose or do on purpose. Someone saying they're proud to be gay/transgender to me sounds like saying they're proud of having brown hair. There was no choice in the matter so what is there to be proud of exactly, it's not an accomplishment, it just exists.
