I apologise for my messy writing. So a few months back I've made a post in which I've wrote that I want to come out to my parents for the second time at my 18th birthday, which happens to be this Sunday. Every since I've been planning my speech but then school started and now I have nothing and have to come up with something very quickly! I'm petrified and can't really think of anything else than failing. I do not necessarily need them to accept me, I need them to finally acknowledge who I am. It doesn't mean that I'm less stressed. I don't know what to say or do..
Coming out to parents is terrifying. I'm in the same boat. From everything I've read (I've read it all!) and the advice I've been given on this forum: Just tell them. Sit them down and say "Yo, parents, plot twist I am not your daughter. Wow, i bet i really had you guys fooled!" And then they go "Ohh, wow, OUR SON!!! WE LOVE OUR SON!!" And then you all live happily ever after as your true selves. If you're worried about how they'll react, write a letter and leave it for them to find or text them. Sorry, this is pretty sloppily written and not very good advice. I hate being told "Oh. just go for it" but it's really the only way.
Hi there! How come you need to tell them by your 18th birthday? I'd suggest that you give yourself the time you need to feel you are prepared for it, and ready. Rushing into a coming out because of a self-imposed deadline, might not yield the result you are probably looking for. Plus, you are not giving yourself the chance to think about (really think about) what you would like to say, and what you would like them to know about you. In so many ways, you are educating your parents about yourself, and from the sounds of it, they might need some time to come around, and might also have questions of their own. There are some great resources that could give you some ideas on how to (perhaps) begin to alleviate some of their concerns, start answering their questions: Coming out as Trans to Your Parents & Family; I would also encourage you to have a read through the resources on the PFLAG site, as they are designed for parents gaining an understanding. You are seeking acceptance, as you do want your parents to acknowledge who you are as a person. Even though you feel that you don't need it straight away at the moment, there will come a point in time, where you do want it, or perhaps even seek it. Create the basis for it by taking your time to prepare yourself so that you can go into it with confidence and show them from the first moment to the last that you have accepted yourself, this is who you are and that they have not lost anything by you being you. Most, if not every, parent(s) goes through a grieving process - parents have to come out too. Their first thoughts, reactions often times originate from the fear of the unknown, a sense of loss. By taking your time and thinking about what you would like them to know, while also providing reassurances, you will start addressing their fears.
