How do you figure out if you are gay or not if you live in isolation? I have lived alone the past 9 years, and all I do is go to work and go home. I have one good friend in town, but she lives 30 minutes away and is busy, so we don't see each other frequently. I've posted my story before, but I spend most of my life avoiding. I don't know how not to. It seems impossible to figure myself out when all I do is lie on my couch and cuddle my cats, except I do nothing to really change it. I am in therapy, and my therapist knows of the confusion, but I have never really been able to talk about it besides telling her the original story that started the confusion.
I don't know how not to. It seems impossible to figure myself out when all I do is lie on my couch and cuddle my cats, except I do nothing to really change it. Are you able to do something completley different? Travel? Go to college? Get a different job where you would be around more people? Ive done all of these in the past. Then sometimes I find myself isolated again, then I quit my job and go traveling again. Or I switch to a job with happier people.
Join LGBT community, take up a new hobby . This could make you feel better about yourself. Before long you could feel empowered, I did...
Hi confused04- I'm glad you reached out here on Empty Closets. This is a good, safe place with lots of good people. I have no qualifications for offering my opinion, other than my life's experience. But here it is: if you're living in the isolation you described, being gay or straight is irrelevant. Sexuality is very much about interacting with other people, but there's also the kind of interaction with people that has nothing to do with sex. My opinion is that you need to focus first on developing healty friendships before anything else. I believe you can do it. You've taken a big first step by reaching out here.
I miss school (though it was nearly 15 years ago), but i would need to know what i wanted to do to go back...so that's not an option right now. I am a preschool teacher, so i'm around people all day I don't know how to be less isolated. My T comes up with volunteer ideas, but i just keep rejecting them. its like going through quicksand to get myself to do anything. And then at the bottom of all that is the lingering question of my sexuality, which i have a feeling REALLY keeps me isolated bc I am so stuck in that area that I don't even approach it, and therefore and not out there trying out friendships/relationships at all.
I know this is the answer, but I am finding it nearly impossible to do. I did sign up for a weekly art support group that starts monday, for a month--so maybe that will help. Who knows. It still leaves about 7 million hours when I am alone, though.
Hi @confused04 - Yeah, I get it. It's really tough to break out of habits and patterns even when you know you need to. Just take one little step at a time. That's as simple as saying "hello" to someone that you haven't said "hello" to before. Then build on that when you're ready. And remember this (it's important): your couch and your cats will still be there, waiting to comfort you and hear what you have to say. Hugs! =Sevn
I recently 'discovered' meditation and Buddhism. A year ago. It has a lot to do with realizing that you do not have to remain the same person. It has a lot to do with getting rid of depression and isolation. Buddhism is not a religion like christianity, it is just a new way of looking at the world. A way of leaving resentment behind and starting new, and being happier in life.It is looking for inner peace. I really enjoy it. There is no praying or god or anything, no singing angels or ten commandments, or any of that far out stuff. just sort of taking a clear look at your life and seeing what is wrong. Not only that, it is a really LGBT friendly philosophy. And that is what it is, a Philosophy. You might try learning to Meditate 20 minutes a day. I have one youtube I really like called "The enthusiastic Buddhist' by an Australian woman. Quite good. I started meditating like 10 minutes a day. I had no intrest in BUddhism, but that part sort of grew on its own. Learning how to meditate 10 or twenty minuts a day will likely change your whole perspective on the world. It has for millions of people.
