- antidepressants - CBT and EMDR therapy - Walking (gets more lateralisation - movement - between the brain) - Talking with friends (not about depression)
Anti-depressants (SSRIs, to be more specific) made all the difference at the beginning and allowed me some space to start putting all the other things into play. Without them I'm not sure I would have made it onto the first rung of the ladder. Finding the balance between not overwhelming myself with too much social contact and ending up in isolation. Doing some kind of outdoor exercise every day without fail, even just a 20 minute jog around the park. Rigorously sticking to bedtimes and getting up times regardless of whether or not I happened to fall asleep quickly and easily. Listening to podcasts as I fall asleep to stop my mind wandering. Eating nutritious food at regular mealtimes. Writing as much as I can about the good times, so I have something to hold onto if things look hopeless. Learning to identify and remove myself from toxic situations. Never having a day with nothing planned - it's dangerous for me. Even 'chill days' need structure or I can drift into negative thinking cycles. Trying to recognise and challenge obsessive negative thoughts. Still a work in progress.
Here's a few things I do. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. Music. I have a couple of what I call feel good cd's/playlists. This are songs that have either uplifting lyrics in them or just a good beat. Life is life by Opus is one of my favourites. Have a clean up. Especially combine with listening to music. Not only is it getting yourself moving about but its surprising how better I feel when my flat looks cleaner and fresh. Walking. Love walking. Give me time to think on things. Apart from that take time to look at the world around. Take deep breaths. Any form of exercise will help release endorphins that will pick up your mood. Any hobbies. During a bout of depression last year one of things me and my councillor looked at was hobbies because I felt I had nothing outside work. Images: Weather on your computer in a file you can flick through or as a screensaver or even printed of and stuck up somewhere find some photos/pics that make you feel good. Maybe landscapes or characters from movies that you admire. As mentioned above write a bio about yourself listing all the good things that has happened to you and that you've done. It's surprising what comes to mind. Recently a friend of mine commented on FB for people to post three things their grateful for in their life and I (half jokingly) wrote I couldn't think of any after ten minutes. In truth, off the top of my head, at 30 I quit my job, went to college and then Uni and got a degree. This year I went to my first Pride. Vent. If something is bugging you write it down. How it makes you feel. Getting it down does seem to help get it out of the system. Even if you throw it/ delete it later. If you need to post it on a forum such as this. Sometimes you will get some people comment back maybe with something helpful. (another step I know of with this idea is to write it down and then burn it imagining at the same time that the feeling/problem is also disappearing.) Talk to people. Find some people that you can confide in, even if its different people for different problems of just that one person. If you don't feel you can talk to anyone in person then you can always try talking/posting on a site like this. (of course you could end up waiting for a reply)
For me, depression really never goes away. It's there, and it's a matter of pushing it away or letting it in. Some bad days I cut, but really when I think about it the next day, it seems stupid. Then I'm put down by my mom about being bi (or pan) or experience something painful, and then the cycle repeats itself. To be honest, I've had depression nearly all my life and now its kind of like an old friend, almost. It's the one thing in my life that's constant, and it brings a sort of odd comfort when I think about it sometimes. The most important part, I think, in dealing with depression is to identify the cause. Then you can lock your heart away before approaching it, and let out all the hurt later, when it's too much to handle. My cause for depression was my suppression of freedom. I was the perfect little puppet for my mom, and she controlled my every whim, up to when I could brush my teeth or what friends I had. My first rebellion was around the time I came out and joined my school's LGBT club. Needless to say, we fought, and I cut myself. This time, however, I cut myself not out of pain, but out of pride for standing up for something I believe in. This is one scar that I hope will never fade away.
Do you have one friend or relative who knows you have depression? Make sure they're aware of what you're going through. Maybe ask them to check in on you, even if it's just a text, every once in a while. Don't ruminate! If you find your thoughts going to dark places, distract yourself somehow. Any way you can. Post here! Keep in touch. Vent. Complain. Even if no one responds. In addition to eating right, don't eat badly. I know your appetite can be bad when depressed, but eating junk could make you feel worse in the long run. After suffering bouts of depression for 30 years, my depression seems to have stopped. I haven't had a major episode since I improved my diet. I even went off my meds. I can think of no other change in my life that can account for being "cured". In addition, the last few years have been very tough, but I've kept my head above water. I've also cured some minor physical problems, most likely by eating right. Also, except for one minor head cold, I haven't gotten sick in like six years, and I used to get at least one or two colds or respiratory infections each winter. Advising people what or what not to eat is probably one rung below talking religion or politics on the "annoying ladder", so I'll shut up now.
Things that have helped me: Medication Weekly therapy Spending time with friends Daily exercise A healthy diet Plenty of sleep Meditation Taking days off for self care (like going to an art gallery or the beach) Listening to music Calling my family Fresh air Sunlight Reading Watching a thought provoking film Watching stand up comedy Comfort food Journaling Writing on forums
Can you not tell them you're gay? Do you have another issue you could go to them for and use the techniques they learn to help you with this as well?!
I tried that once, even though I have several other issues that make me very sad, nothing compares to this. The therapist knew I wasn't completely honest and therefore wouldn't prescribe antidepressants for me. The worst part is that I can't talk about it, and I won't even begin to heal if I can't even admit who I am. I just bottled it up for many years till it broke my soul, its the worst feeling in the world.
I'm sorry for this. I wish you felt able to talk to someone about this. I know none of us here may not be mental health professionals, but I know we're all willing to help. Perhaps you could use us as a resource to talk about specifically what it is about your sexuality that is troubling you? You deserve to be happy.
Thank you, i've joined this forum several years ago, but I haven't been writing regularly. But lately I've been thinking about writing some of my thoughts and feelings here, if I can't talk, maybe I can write
For me, medication has helped a lot. I'm on SSRIs and they have made such a difference. Also listening to upbeat music helps when I am feeling down. Sometimes I like to bake or read. Also coming on here and distracting myself can help a lot. Going outside or playing with my dog also helps.