My last partner, I think I fell for him because he was trans-friendly. I had never met anyone who respected me like that, so I latched onto him and soaked up all that validation. But then I realized that respect should be a part of any relationship. And there wasn't much else in him that I loved, besides him using my name and pronouns... Now I'm falling for a sweetheart who is taking interests in my interests. But she told me "that's a basic part of any relationship, just like respecting your gender is." So am I falling for her for the wrong reasons? Will I look back, realize that any relationship should have kindness and respect, and regret pursuing her instead of someone more suited to me? What made YOU fall in love with someone? What are some good reasons to fall in love versus bad reasons?
I've never been in love, more lust I think. I'm male had 3 yr relationship with a guy when I was 16 but it was just lust. Then had 20 year relationship including 16 yr marriage to a woman. I don't think I loved her, we had a deep connection but if I'm honest I'm still looking. I'm sure I know when it happens, hopefully.....
I am currently in love with someone who I have been getting to know intimately for the past four years. There are so many reasons why I love her. She's funny, spontaneous, energetic, generous, compassionate, extremely brilliant, nerdy, and sexy, great at cooking, dynamic, confident, spiritual, open, joyful, creative, wild. She encourages and inspires me to be a better person. She isn't afraid to call me out on my bs. She chooses to always see the best in me even when I can't see it myself. She supports me to express myself authentically. She is there for me when I am going through hard times and celebrates my accomplishments. She shares so much of herself with me and wants to know me. She loves me unconditionally and wants me to be free. She has incredible energy that brightens up and livens up any space she is in. She is a rainbow in my cloud. When I fell in love with her it was early on in our relationship and I feel it just happened and I surrendered to it. It wasn't about anything she did. It was just about who she was and the way I felt with her. The inescapable desire to know and be known by her. I don't think there are inherently good and bad reasons to fall in love. There are different types of love and I think it's good and healthy to be aware of the reasons, values, motivations, and intentions present in your love relationships. are you happy with the person you are with? do you want to be with them? if the answers to those questions are yes I think it's best to not overthink it and just enjoy it.
I do like her, a lot in fact. I'm absolutely smitten and she makes me very happy I'm only worried since i realize that my last relationship failed because I liked him respecting me, but loved a very few other things about him. He didn't have many other qualities I liked, but I was so excited to be called my name and pronouns that I overlooked everything else. I just assumed I'd never meet anyone else who could love me for who I am, much less someone who could love me for who I am AND be someone I adored and felt perfectly at home with. I guess I settled. I'm scared I'll accidentally settle for someone I won't be happy with, again. I really like your answer it's perfect and adorable and shows me some good qualities to look for in partners and cultivate in myself. Thank you
