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I kissed a girl (well, a woman) and i liked it!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Soundofmusic, Sep 26, 2018.

  1. Biguy45

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    The first time I was with a man as an adult, it wasn’t as earth shattering as I had thought it would be. I enjoyed it, but I think I built it up in my mind that it would be incredible. I found I liked women more. Who knows, could have just been the partner
     
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  2. silverhalo

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    Do you think that perhaps you had just built it up in your head to be such an amazing thing that it couldn't live up to it? Would you say you were really nervous?
     
  3. Soundofmusic

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    I dont think i was nervous at all because i was really drunk. I also havent hyped it up or had expectations. But sex has always hurt for me and this time was no diff. I just enjoyed giving, which definitely IS new for me.
     
  4. Love4Ever

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    Well, part of the reason it maybe wasn't what you hoped was that you were drunk? Being somber makes sex enjoyable.
     
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  5. Tightrope

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    It depends on so many things, but you're right. It could be the partner, the chemistry, what you do, all kinds of things.

    You meant sober, I think. Being sober makes you able to sense everything better.

    About the whole idea of the thread, the phrase "if it feels good, do it" might work. That's not always true for everything under the sun because some things out there can be really bad for you or for others. Some things are just plain illegal.
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Ok when it hurts do you say anything? Maybe you just need to find what works for you? I would suggest slightly less alcohol next time maybe.
     
  7. Soundofmusic

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    Yes, I told her Im not a fan of penetration. She sortaaaa listened?

    Theres always next time to get it right!
     
  8. SoulSearch

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    Maybe have a sexy but serious talk about your desires and limits before next time. Try stuff that doesn’t involve penetration and see how it goes. Fun experiments! My first time was really nice, but not earth shattering like I had hoped. I think we can get there though — when my woman isn’t thousands of miles away. Practice makes perfect, right?
     
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  9. Love4Ever

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    That's totally fine! You can do stuff that doesn't involve penetration. I actually won't do that at all. I'll do it for someone else if they want but as for me I'm not into penises or dildos. Tell her you're not into it and try something else.
     
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  10. Biguy45

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    I’ve always enjoyed being penetrated, everyone has different likes and dislikes
     
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  11. Love4Ever

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    I think that's cool. Most men get flack for wanting it and women get flack for NOT wanting it. I think people should just do what they want.
     
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  12. Love4Ever

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    It's also not connected to gender at all like some people think. There are lesbians and straight guys who love penetration and gay men and straight women who hate it. And bi people of both sexes who dislike it or not.
     
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  13. silverhalo

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    Was she a bit drunk too?
     
  14. Lin1

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    Sortaaa listening is not really okay though, if you aren't okay with penetration she should totally listen.

    I guess that's why sex wasn't mind-blowing.

    For me sex is only fully enjoyable when I am fully comfortable with the person and feel I am being fully listened to and understood. I think your experience with this girl didn't differ much from your experience with guys because it seems like she acted like a lot of guys do (sorta listening to their partner/you). Which sucks.

    Hope next time is better but make sure you have a chat about boundaries and what you are and are not comfortable with as it's paramount she respects your wishes when it comes to sex.


    On an other note, first times can often be disappointing as everything is new so the good thing is that there is plenty of room left for improvement! :slight_smile:
     
  15. Soundofmusic

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    Yep. We were both equally drunk
     
  16. beenthrdonetht

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    Good sex takes more practice than most people (OK, me anyway) realize. The image of everything working and fitting without any words spoken is just a myth. Glad you enjoyed giving. Me too. When one is receiving sometimes one's mind tends to wander. Learning that that's OK is part of it all.
     
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  17. Soundofmusic

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    It also seems like shes still dating a ton of people per twitter so im trying to chill out and not get attached quickly even tho i really like her. Bah but im very happy and grateful i got to have this experience
     
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  18. SoulSearch

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    Good luck with that! I’m not good at avoiding attachment.
     
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  19. silverhalo

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    I think maybe try it again a little less drunk and perhaps have a conversation with her beforehand about what you do and don't like, if she doesn't listen again then that is really quite bad I'd say.
     
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