What are you thinking?

I should be working but I'm on EC instead. Sigh

 

There's an old saying about guilt that goes "Get off the cross, we need the wood." The problem is that guilt comes and goes in waves, just like grief.

 

That awesome moment when you find out you have tonsillitis even though your tonsils were surgically removed already as a kid - apparently they can regrow. This was not a nice surprise.

 

Really? I didn’t know that. Sorry you have to deal with that again.

 

Sometimes when I speak, I wonder if I make no sense at all while people pretend to understand me. I feel like I can speak neither English or Korean :/

 

Thinking I'm gotta come out to my aunt in the next two weeks. I feel like it's more awkward now that I've been dating for almost a year and didn't tell her rather the actual gay part lol

 

She may already know. I would tell her anyway though. Casually of course.

 

If I wasn't such a procrastinator and lazy bum, I'd have a job by now.

 

Ehhh, debatable. Hard to find a non-minimum wage job to support yourself with these days, with or without a degree or some sort of training.

 

Going back and forth between being excited and petrified for my birthday.

It's right before (Canadian) Thanksgiving. I already know one of my friends is going to Iceland, and my one other friend said it's unknown if she can do something that weekend or not. There isn't a doubt that my dad loves me, but especially with Birthdays and Xmas my mom always did more than her fair share to make those kinda things special, so its gonna be interesting to see how I feel. At the very least, my bf will chill with me on my bd.

 

Five and a half hours of work later, I've finally got everything done for this week.

 

I feel for you. I'm not a native speaker as well.

 

She's constantly in my head. I want to know her more.

 

I'm glad you'll at least have your boyfriend there with you, and hopefully your friends who aren't around will at least reach out to you. Today was my birthday and aside from my parents and two of my grandparents, it wasn't acknowledged by anyone. I don't look forward to birthdays anymore and I don't care about getting gifts or anything, but it really sucks that nobody gives a shit. These kind of days make me feel so irrelevant and lonely.

 

I want to start surrounding myself more with gay men when the opportunity arises and to start haveing more open dialogue.

 

Like a month ago I came out a few of my coworkers that are my age. I had been awkwardly avoiding it with everybody else, and today my boss walks up to me and casually asks what my bf does. Nice that she's chill, but fuck, how long ago did everybody else get told? -_-

 

So, my family found my internet friends on my phone, which resulted it being taken away for who knows how long. As I was happy with them, my stepmother talked to me about it and told me that I may be trying to look for an intimate (not necessarily sexual) relationship with someone. This made me feel kind of happy because I did not know that until she told me.

I just do it better online than in person. Like, way better, haha. I'm not too upset about them gone because I know they'll be waiting for me when I return. : )

 

How the US federal government is so frickin' slow in processing and selecting from potential jurors. I had to wait several hours between each action just to do the next task to keep the process going...And I have to appear in court tomorrow for further selection. I hope I don't get picked...Although it's an honorable duty, the trial may last 6 weeks and I don't feel comfy missing out on that much work since I'm the only one who can do my job