Holding Hands in Public?

Only in places away from where I go to school or work, because I've already had problems caused by being affectionate at school and would rather not deal with more of them. We live pretty close to each other, and yea people aren't the most supportive here.

 

I have for decades at this point. I don't even give it a moment's thought any more.

 

I wouldn't hold hands in certain places regardless of gender as my parents don't want me involved with anyone period. I would hold hands in more discreet public places like at the movies or something.

 

Very rarely, like at the movies or when it's dark and there aren't many people around. It's mostly because I don't want comments of any kind or looks

 

I am averse to all kinds of PDA, so this is a big no-no for me. (I wouldn't do it with a woman, either.)

When I was a teenager (16-17) I'd do it with my then... um... "something" for the lulz.

 

Yes, but only in specific places.

 

I would but not all the time and the reason is I'm afraid that people will look at my partner and I and say"there the gay couple". I don't want my partner and I to being seen as the gay couple. I Just want to being seen as a couple like everyone else.

 

I kind of feel the same way as earthguy. It's not that couples holding hands is seen as weird, it's that nobody thinks twice about a straight couple doing it and just gloss over it in their mind - but if they see two guys holding hands they're not thought of as a 'couple' they're the 'gay couple' like it's a separate category of relationships that should be treated differently and gets noticed more. A man and woman doing it, nobody blinks, but two guys doing it and the reaction is either 'this is disgusting' or 'I support them'...either way it's not seen the same as being a normal couple and glossed over, it's forcing the label of being 'different than normal people' onto us.

 

It's harder to apply to lesbians because straight girls hold hands and act flirty with each other anyway, so society is kind of used to that already. Every time I go to a nightclub half the girls in there are holding hands and hugging each other. It's a lot more rare with guys so gays stand out significantly more than lesbians.

 

Yes, I would say this plays a big part and also that homophobia is somehow stronger and more vile towards men than women because of toxic masculinity, patriarchy and gender norms.
In almost all cultures, some more than others, women are allowed to be emotionally and physically affectionate with other women, as part of a platonic relationship(which is healthy btw and I support that, I wish men would be allowed to be that way with their male friends too), so many women, if they're both touchy-feely, can hold hands, be very tactile, even cuddle or whatever. All these things can be non-sexual affectionate acts.

So yes as a woman, especially if both of you are more on the femme side, holding hands will likely not even be automatically perceived as a couple-y thing by everyone and, even if it is seen as such, it usually doesn't prompt super overt homophobic reactions. In that sense I would not be afraid to hold hands with a female partner but I would have a problem with the idea, the possibility of being ridiculed or my relationship just being perceived negatively and as sick or inferior, because for me being with someone in a loving relationship, that love, the feelings between us, is something really precious so it would hurt to feel it is mocked or undervalued. For that reason I would probably not hold hands in my country.

 

I guess people may look at my husband and I as the gay couple. I prefer to think that they look at us as the hot couple. But frankly I tend to think that what people think of me really isn't any of my business. As far as the whole representing thing I'm kind of alright with it--but then again my husband and I were holding hands in public twenty years ago, by way of contrast it hardly seems like anyone even notices any more. Plus it gets that way by being more common. If everyone rolls over and waits for it to get better... it never does.