Am I settling for him because he's lgbt, like me?

Sorry for the rant coming up...

My partner and I have been together two and a half years now. For two years, we were really happy. We hung out all the time, always snuggling together and watching movies. We binged all of Stranger Things, House MD, Star Trek (TNG and DS9!), and a dozen more shows, we used to cook together every weekend, went on walks together, went on the cuuuuutest dates. We were roommates from the start, so we were already U-Hauled by the time we were dating, haha. He's such a sweetheart, always on board when I'm trying new names, always there for me when I'm sick or sad, making me food when I can't get out of bed (things we do for each other). We went on vacations, camped under the stars, went to our first Prides together... It seemed like the perfect relationship, straight out of a LGBT love story. It was the perfect relationship. Better than anything I'd ever dreamed of.

Now I'm worried that we've changed too much to be together. He recently went on Testosterone and has been a lot more grumpy, irritable, and short with me, and whenever I confront him, he denies it (or maybe I'm imagining things). We used to be the same levels of clingy, but now I'm too clingy for him, and I long for more hand-holding and cuddling. We recently had our friend move in with us, and I've spend more time snuggling her on the couch that I've spent cuddling my own partner. Now I go to her when I need a hug. She's as touch-starved as I am so it works out. But the more I get along with the new roommate, the more I realize that my partner isn't meeting all my needs.

On one hand, duh one person isn't meeting all my needs. A person needs more friends than one partner. On the other hand, I need more from my partner specifically, more time spent talking and holding hands and discussing philosophy and the universe and science. When I hang out with the roommate, she and I do all that. We sit together, arm in arm, and discuss politics and religion and our many common interests. I lay my head on her shoulder, holding hands and talking about anything. But when my partner and I hang out, we just argue. All the time. He's so stubborn, it feels like I'm not allowed to have different opinions sometimes. I suppose I could get along with him even though I feel like I'm settling, if only he wasn't so stressful to be around these days, always (seeming to be) snapping at me, arguing about everything, making me feel like a burden and an annoyance...

Sometimes it feels like we're only staying together because it would be too complicated to move out, to argue about who gets the toothpaste and who gets the better coat hangers... Plus neither of us can afford to live alone right now, financially.

Sorry for the long rant... Do you think he and I have a chance? He says that our relationship is just 'out of the honeymoon phase,' but I feel he's not the person I fell in love with anymore. Maybe I just need time to adjust to who he's becoming. Maybe I should settle... I mean, who else is going to accept my gender? It's hard enough making friends who respect me, much less finding a person I'm romantically compatible with. And how do I even work on our relationship? We talk all the time--it seems like all we do anymore is have stressful conversations about our relationship. It's not helping. What else is there?

 

Thanks to anyone who viewed this. He and I have broken up now. Hope you all have lovey days