ive met this girl and she is far more experienced than me (i have no experience). we kissed and i was honest about my inexperience and she was super respectful. the thing is we met again and things started to get more sexual thab just kissing and i feel like i was doing it more for her than me so i didnt enjoy it as much and took a step back. the next time we spend the whole night kissing, hugging, taking and nothing more and i felt a lot just by kissing (that maybe i didnt feel as much on the first day). so my question is, for you guys, did it take time and patience to get round the idea/wanting to have sex with someone? i love spending time with this girl and just the way she looks at me makes me feel funny but i just feel going the whole way would be too much. any help for a lost girl?
Take your time. Tell her what you're feeling. I need emotional connection and intimacy before I feel physically and sexually aroused. Trust and feeling safe is important. The woman I'm seeing and I talked about sex a lot before we acted (probably easier for us because we are long distance). We planned a weekend together and by that time we had talked about exactly what we were comfortable and not comfortable with, had STD testing, and were prepared to have sex if it felt right. When we finally got to be together we had all of the uncomfortable topics out of the way and we were free to act on our feelings. We checked in with each other often and both of us felt very comfortable with what we were doing. I know not everyone has to have a big lead-up to sex like this, but we both need the deep connection first. (I'm kind of envious of those who can just have sex for fun with no strings attached! I think I'd like to do that, but it's just not in my nature.)
thank you for sharing your experience. this girl is long distance aswell but we already talked a lot about where i am...as im planning on seing her again i could work with that
Going right to sex isn't for everyone. Take your time and let her know you're not ready for sex yet. If it's important to you then you need to feel ready and do it when you're ready.
Today I met up with someone for a lunch, and we were planning to talk and get to know each other a little better. We ended up being so comfortable with each other that he came back to my place and we had some fun! Neither of us expected that to happen on the first meet, but it just... happened. I can say for certain, though, that we had an emotional connection and we trusted each other.
Many people do take their time. I never did. I was always ready for sex anytime, at least when I was younger. That doesn’t mean I slept around, I was just always willing if my partner was
May you always feel that way. It does last. I mean, there are some (ahem) things we can do for ourselves, alone, but making out isn't one of them.
