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Trouble with my girlfriend- should I be worried??

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by atomic dorito, Sep 4, 2018.

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  1. atomic dorito

    atomic dorito
    Regular Member

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    Hello Emptyclosets members... I've been with a beautiful, wonderful person over the past 9 months. We weren't official until 4 months ago. Her and her best friend (also her ex) are very close--- they've known each other for 7 years. The problem is they've seemed too clingy to each other. Her best friend drapes herself across my girl's shoulders and will cuddle up to her the way I would... She hugs her from behind too. I asked my girl about it and she said "my friend is lonely and has nobody to be physically affectionate with- so as her best friend i give that to her" and when I told her I didn't like it very much she told me she wouldn't stop but she would slightly limit it??? I don't want her to do ANYTHING with her that she would do with me.. I'm okay with them platonically hugging? And maybe hand holding? But I don't know what to say to her or how to say it. Any advice..?
     
    #1 atomic dorito, Sep 4, 2018
  2. Sawyer

    Sawyer
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    The thing that concerns me is your gf’s response. It is not anyone’s responsibility to give physical affection if you aren’t in a relationship with them. And there is a huge difference between platonic hugs and hugs you would give your S.O.
    If this is an issue for you and her response was to only limit the physical affection and not stop it completely, I would be wondering if she still has feelings for her ex.

    If I were in your situation, I would tell her the truth. I would say, “I understand you and your best friend have history and are still close. However, I am very uncomfortable how physically close you two still are. She is as affectionate to you, and you are to her, as a I am to you, and we are the ones currently in a relationship. I am asking, for the sake of our relationship that any physical contact with her be platonic and not couple-like.”

    Honestly, for me this would be a huge red flag. But it’s a conversation you will have to have with her.

    Would she be okay with you cuddling up to another girl?
     
    #2 Sawyer, Sep 7, 2018
    atomic dorito likes this.
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