Size really matters

I'm glad you posted this. I guess its possible all my younger friends are doing this and lying about it but I don't really think so...

 

I've always found hookup sites to be rather... I suppose vulgar is a word to use. Even dating apps can irritate me. Personally, I've never thought about using a hookup app. I know of those who have.

I have however tried a few dating apps. Where I used to live the lgbt community was in retrospect very small and discreet. So, I tried the dating apps as I way to reach out and even if we didn't date I'd at least have the chance to gain a friend.

I've found that the people who ask for those kind of picks are not remotely interested in anything more than casual sex or a one night stand. Both of which I care nothing for.

I'd much rather find a companion or someone to 'actually' date. Those looking for the same don't tend to ask for such private pictures.

 

Im so tired of hearing the line "oh most people dont care about size". Thats not true. I find that many of the men I have met are ALL about the size. In fact the penish shaming in the gay community is sickening. "Oh he has a little d$ck"; His d&ck is only xyz inches; oh he had a really big d&ck!!!" It is almost like the men equate a man's worth by how big his penis is. The smaller the less worthy he is and should be disrespected. It is ridiculous. No one picks their penis. If yours is small you did not pick it, if yours is big, you did not pick it. So what does it matter. Dont send these losers any pictures of your penis and anyone who is asking for that is not worth your time. I had to tell you this but many gay men will penis shame you and even ridicule you over your penis. These will also be the same people whining about how they can never find anyone. As far as me, I dont care how bug a guys penis is. I of course want to be attracted to his face and personality and what he has going for him but if we got naked and his penis was smaller I would not care at all.

 

I totally disagree. You should bot have to advertise your penis size. What is this a meat market? On a dating site would you advertise and "own" hey guys I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome and own my sh$t. Who wants me?!" I have a flat a$$ love me or leave me!" This is crazy. Noone owes anyone pics or descriptions of their body parts.

 

They are hookups sites, what did you expect?!
Putting myself in a typical hookup-site user shoes : Why would I care about anything but how sexy (so bigger size = sexier for most, I daresay all, guys) the guy l am going to hook up with? I wouldn't care about his personality nor hobbies, it's just a one night stand and I want to be nearly perfect!!

 

Chip

That's pretty judgmental. I've met at least 6 friends on hookup sites and communicate with them often. Your generalized statement is so off base. When did we start using one's sexual appetites and practices to define them? Just a couple examples of guys I've met. One is one of the local LGBQT leaders in the community and devotes hundreds of hours to the Pride festival. Another has now become a rock climbing partner. Another, I do long distance endurance mountain bike rides with. One guy took me under his wing and took me to several parties and gatherings after I came out and spent several evenings sitting on my patio and helping me navigate the gay jungle...yet we never were intimate. I've taken these guys home to meet my wife and they've met my other friends. Sure, we don't talk about how we met (except for my wife) because of the judgement from the wider community.

It's not about the practice of hooking up that is an issue. It's when guys place their self worth on body image, or body parts. Or, guys that use casual sex as a substitute for real relationships. But, that is not everyone. I'm not even sure it is the majority....at least in my experience. I don't have to go to a hookup site to find shallow guys I would have nothing to do with..found plenty of them at a gay hiking group..or any other venue straight or gay really.

 

I totally agree with you and I hope I wasn't misunderstood, I was just explaining why it's a negative and an unhealthy environment, even for someone looking for just a hookup, let alone finding a date.

 

Correct, no one owes anyone pics or descriptions of their body parts. I never said he SHOULD, I just said that it would be a good idea in order to easily get rid of the people who would care.

But also, your example is actually true. If someone has Irritable Bowel Syndrome then it would be SUPER helpful for them to own that because its likely than in the middle of a dinner an attack might happen or that going to the movies the person will have to excuse themselves multiple times depending on the severity of their disease. Why not yell it at the world? Why is that so crazy?

All humans are judging people on how they look. That applies to hook up apps and meeting someone over coffee.

We judge people from the clothes they wear, their fitness, the words they use, their accents, their teeth, etc. That is how humans work. The only way that people fall for someone's personality over their looks is if they hang out with that person for days/months and then fall for them. It happens, but that sounds just painful process. One that is simply also impossible for LGBT people in certain parts of the country.

Hook up apps are just the new way to cast a wider net. Its also not new to this generation.

 

You kinda have to lump mainstream social media into that as well.

Honestly logging into my local hook up app is a bit of a confidence boost, whereas logging into Instagram or something is like damn I’m ugly, stupid and poor.

 

That isn't what you stated in your post.

You said that most people on hook up apps are "which is basically shallow people who only care about appearance and (apparently) penis size." trying to make the distinction between meeting people out and about rather than shallow people on apps.

My point was that everyone, doesn't matter how they meet you, will be judging you. We all do it and its not a hook up app thing.