Hi there! I'm a girl and I am certainly interested in girls. The thought of making out/cuddling/having sex with a girl seems very appealing to me. However, I've never fallen in love (no matter the gender. I've only experienced sexual attraction). But...there's something that makes me feel confused. The only thing that makes me orgasm is watching guys masturbate/ejaculate. I don't understand myself. I don't feel attracted to them. But the penises turn me on... whenever a guy touches his penis (even strangers on the streets) I get a weird feeling in my genital area. A weird tingling. It kinda turns me on, even though I find penises gross. Yeah, it's cringe. I've never orgasmed to a girl. I don't know why. I'm still a virgin but as I have said, thinking of having sex with a girl makes me feel good. Kinda horny, but it's not strong enough to get me masturbating. My visualization skills are horrible. Now when it comes to guys. Anything more than hugging one makes me feel disgusted. Like it doesn't feel right to me. The only relationship with a guy I'd accept includes no sexual/romantic things, no "I love you" and not even holding hands together. I rarely admire a guy. Yesterday I talked to one. I loved his eyes! I could imagine myself hugging him! But nothing more. However, I could think of having sex with a guy without feeling attracted to him. Like...having a penis inside my vagina sounds orgasmic (it's complicated). When I don't wanna use my hands and can't find a girl I am attracted to, I'd choose having sex with a guy but not looking at him/his body. Only feeling him inside me. On the other side, i could never ever have sex with a girl I'm not attracted to. It's more than horrible to be so confused. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!
From your experiences, it sounds like you may be bisexual aromantic. Bisexual people usually lean toward one gender, even if it is just slightly. Since you don't feel any romantic attachments, you may be aromantic. Aromantic is people who can't feel romantic attraction to others but may still be able to feel sexual attraction toward others. I hope this helps some.
