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Ghosted

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by ETCA, Aug 31, 2018.

  1. ETCA

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    Alrighty, so it’s been a while but here it is.

    A little over a year ago, I broke up with my girlfriend of fifteen months. She was my first love, first kiss, all that crap. After joining the local fire department, she suddenly cut down on contact (so about one or two texts a day) on the premise that she was busy, but social media said otherwise. Eventually I said enough was enough and confronted her about it, which turned to what I initially thought was a “mutual” breakup. The next few weeks made it clear to me that it was not mutual, and she didn’t much seem to care anymore. Four months after said breakup, she began dating a guy from the fire department. Ouch.

    Needless to say, I was heartbroken for a long time. I’ve only recently healed from the situation, and even now my heart still has its sore moments. Anybody else care to share a ghosted or fell-for-the-other-gender stories? Just looking to feel a little less alone.
     
  2. Devil Dave

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    At least you had a relationship with this person. I don't know if that makes it better or worse, but I've been ghosted by guys who i thought I had a real chance with, and they ended up ignoring me. Not even doing me the courtesy of saying they're not interested. Why can't people just give a rejection? It makes me feel like a creep if I'm messaging someone asking how they've been and inviting them to meet up, only to get no response whatsoever.
     
  3. ErinS

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    Totally in the same boat! I can’t for the life of me understand why someone wouldn’t reject you and let you move on. I’ve been in limbo for 5 months now, it’s so hard not knowing
     
  4. beenthrdonetht

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    People (can't live with them, can't live without them) just don't realize how hostile it seems to the ghosted recipient. It feels like "drop dead", like "fuck off and die" or something. If you're in a tolerant mood, you can say they are just being avoidant, they don't want to hurt your feelings. But they do anyway, worse than if they just said "no thank you." I don't have any solution for it except confronting them and telling them off. Which I have done on occasion, with mixed results. Grrr!
     
    RavenWing likes this.
  5. RavenWing

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    I can't relate to the extent of what you're going through, but recently I have been ghosted and it hurt for quite a bit.
    I had developed a very close friendship with a guy I've known for about 3-4 years (we dated once in middle school, but that didn't work out for obvious reasons). I got really close to his mom, she was basically a second (third?) mother to me at one point. I was constantly at his house, hanging out, swimming in his pool, playing video games with him, watching movies with him and his family. I had dinner over there and got along great with his little sister, mom, and even his dad. I really thought that we were going to start dating at one point. I loved spending time with him. The only problem was that he had Aspergers and wasn't great/comfortable with communicating. Typically he'd at least message me and we'd have short conversations or we'd bond over memes. I just tried my best to make him comfortable and let him know that I understood how he felt and wouldn't be upset with him if a conversation went dry or something. I put my all into our friendship/relationship. I sacrificed my own wants, seeing as I'm a person who is very reliant on communication & attention, to make him feel happy and content.
    Well, after I went to my Grandma's over the summer (I always stay at least 2 months there), suddenly he stops messaging me all together. I wait, I message him just to see what's going on. I knew that he'd be busy for like a week, but there was no reason for that week to turn into a month, and that month to turn into 2 months without a single message. He'd leave me on read, and I'd be forced to talk to his mom just to see if he was okay or to know what's going on. It was mentally straining. I felt like I didn't matter, like he didn't even care about our friendship. I even messaged him about how I was feeling and let him know that I was hurt, that I didn't know if we were even friends anymore. He left me on read.
    School started again, and immediately he ignored me in the halls, on the bus. Everywhere. Always talked to other people, but never to me. It took my friend calling him out to even get him to turn his head and look at me. He hasn't even tried to fix things.
    An entire friendship, and potential relationship, ruined... all because he couldn't take the time just to let me know what was going on, or hell, even say "Hi".