So it happened, one of the things I fear while being around other people, my uncle asked my about my job yesterday. We were eating at a restaurant with other members of the family and my uncle's girlfriend asked my cousin about his job and they started talking, after a while my uncle asked me what I was doing and how was work. I feel so ashamed about my job and that I'm not doing what I would like be doing. I answered him and other people were listening (it doesn't help I don't like being the centre of attention) but after answering where I was working at the moment I added some other projects I've done in the past about the things I do like and want to do. This is a problem I have lately, I don't want to hang out with people or meet new people (like dating and such) because I feel ashamed of myself and that I'm not capable of getting a new and good job. In short, I'm a loser and I try to avoid people discovering it.
I don't think you are loser... Not everyone judges based on where someone works. Don't shame yourself for it. I know people who have college degrees and are unhappy doing the job they went to college for. Myself? Well, let's just say that I am not a fan of money or greed. I've done numerous jobs and the two I found myself to be the most happy doing and also the most rewarding were two that in alot of ways don't amount to much more than paying the bills. I worked in home healthcare for the longest. It started with taking care of my mother before she lost her battle with breast cancer. After I lost her and a client. My emotions couldn't handle it any longer. The other believe it or not was flipping burgers at McDonald's. ^_^ Don't let yourself get into a position where others choose your happiness. It's a hard cycle to break. I could still go to college and have a career. But, I can worry about that later. I'm still happy. Why didn't I go before? My mother needed someone to care for her. I had already decided to do it before she even asked. I wouldn't change that for anything. I got to spend time with her that otherwise I would've missed. To some I could do better is how it has been worded. But, to me... I am right where I am supposed to be. ^_^
Sometimes we have to do things just to survive while we wait for opportunities or for things in life to “align” and allow us to get where we want to go. I waited for ten years to get to the point where I could start actually working toward the career I wanted, and there were times when it was really hard and I didn’t always feel good about where I was and what I was doing. There’s no shame in that, though, and it definitely doesn’t make you a loser. All that matters is that you don’t give up on the things that are important to you!
You're not a loser. You're earning your own money. Be proud of that, no matter what you're doing for a living. Losers are people who steal from shops without paying and without earning whatever money they use to buy drugs.
