I’m Blaise, I’m 14, AMAB, and have experienced homosexual attraction since I was six, at least in memory. I’m bisexual/biromantic. I’ve started questioning my gender within the last year, and started putting non binary in my social media bios within the past month. I have hair past my shoulders, love doing my nails, have an interest in makeup, and generally act traditionally feminine and have an affinity for traditionally feminine things. I have what I think might be dysphoria, in regards to my lack of breasts, and male genitals. Where I look down and expect breasts, and see none, or masturbate and it feels wrong. I’ve often wished I was a girl at various points in my life, and until last year disregarded them as phases. I feel like there are no amab nonbinary people, nor a way to really express that. The issue is I can’t tell if it’s just my depression finding another way to attack my self image, or low self esteem in general, or just nothing. And said potential dysphoria has never been crippling like I hear with most trans and nb people. I once taped a pillow to my chest, and that felt better I think, I just really don’t know. I’d really like some advice, because I can’t figure out whether I’m cis, nb, or trans, and it’s really bothering me.
To me being feminine while nonbinary is off, bcuz nonbinary people tend to enjoy being gender neutral and you seem explicitly feminine, but I don't much about the term to be certain. I personally am trans and I can see that your reaction to your chest, however small, or intense the dysphoria. Sounds like me when I was discovering my identity. Except, opposite, being a trans guy and AFAB. But, I think right now you're deciding where you fit in really in gender identity, so it could just be confusion, there's no way to be certain. I found that it helps to just measure the extremes of the binary, such as how far would you go as either of the common genders- male, or female..This usually helps you see which labels you are closest too. Also, try a bit of experimenting. If, your chest is a certain size you could try wearing a bra, or buying breast forms to see, how you feel about that. Just let how you feel guide you. Eventually you'll figure out what makes you happiest. Mainly, right now, I think you're in an experimenting phase, until you find the right term for yourself. Hope this was helpful. Wishing you luck on your journey~
Hi Blaise, I’m Hats, AMAB, pansexual and nonbinary. I also identify as genderfluid and trans. One thing you could do is try and think about why it is that you identify as nonbinary and not as a binary trans girl. Does it feel wrong to identify as a girl exclusively? If so, why?
