Last night I came out as bisexual to a core group of people that I love and trust in my life. The results were positive. Today, I feel the the grieving process fully going into effect. I'm telling myself that my entire life is going to be different. That nothing is going to be as it was, but I think this is a lie. I ran into an old coworker today, and he immediately recognized me as BrainTrain. He shook my hand like we had seen each other yesterday. In a strange way, that was an immense relief. Because even though my internal world is going through some shifting, I know that there's still an exterior world that will remain relatively the same. I will still look the same, talk the same, do some of the same things that I have always enjoyed. What's different is only occurring internally, and that's only something that I can see. So there's this weird split down the middle, between what people see, and what you feel changing internally. I shook that man's hand from a completely different perspective. Whereas in the past there was anger, today there was a light form of acceptance. It's really, really easy for my mind to go into a state of complete shock and fear about all of this. But really, when you look at the self as an entirety, transformation of sexuality involves a large internal process. Whether I'm gay, straight, bi, asexual, no one will really know the difference. They'll still see the BrainTrain they have always known. My entire life is not going up in flames. I am not being cast into the fire to smother and rise out of the ashes. I am simply widening my heart, and healing some old perspectives. I am the same, yet different. What I feel is a lot different. It's a lot of new emotions, a lot of new sensations. Who I am though, that core identity, I don't think that is all that different. There is still some element of stability in this whole process. Can someone tell me, what is the rest of this process like? Are there any pitfalls to watch out for? Any roadblocks that I'm bound to encounter? So many people like me have already been through this process, I might as well learn from what all of you encountered.
I would say that coming out is a process that never ends. Everyone's reaction will be different. Some will be accepting and others won't. But it's a new time and if they don't accept you they can piss off. You deserve happiness just like everyone else. If people aren't accepting then they don't deserve to be your friend. How this helps any.
Congrats! You should be so proud of yourself. It's brave to come out no matter what because it's a very personal thing. Always hold your head high.
