Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but now the only thing you can do is work. You will work until you starve to death.

I wish people were more accepting.

 

Wish granted, but they always confuse your identity and pronouns every other day, changing it up and forgetting what you came out as in the first place.

I wish I could shake this terrible gripping anxiety.

 

Granted, now you have crippling depression.

I wish I had better self-esteem.

 

wish granted but everyday 10 people follow you all day staring at your every move,

i wish i could have a long term, healthy relationship, with my crush, with him as my boyfriend.

 

granted, but he is a workaholic, and is never home
i wish i could be comfortably out to my redneck dad

 

Granted, but his neck falls off, lol.

I wish my girlfriend lived closer to me.

 

Granted, your girlfriend has become your very own siamese twin! Now you will never be apart again.

I wish I was more confident.

 

granted, but now you are over confident and boastful

nice way to take that by the way lol
i wish my crush was gay

 

Granted, but you aren't his type.

I wish the government shutdown would fully end.

 

granted, but the wall isn't funded, allowing the glut of illegal immigrants to further dilute the job to worker ratio, further ruining the economy
i wish the gop wasn't so anti lgbt

 

Granted, but the GOP is now the Grand Old Playpen so they aren't very good leaders.

I wish I could find an art class nearby I am interested in taking.

 

Granted, however you find out that you're not an artistic person and now you can never quit.

I wish for my depression to go finally go away

 

granted, but the fix was to make you high as a kite 24/7
i wish i could finally get my truck working

 

Granted, but you can never sell it to someone else - it's yours for life (its life or yours, whichever comes (goes) first)

I wish that my political party wins this year's elections

 

Granted, but they are quickly impeached.

I wish my friend was happy today.

 

man, it's a 48 diamond t, I would never sell it regardless
also, granted, but they are only happy apart from you
i wish i could get my parents to stop buying me cheap knock-offs of whatever i ask for (no i don't ask for much)

 

Granted, instead they buy you nothing at all.

I wish I wasn't so sensitive to loud noises.

 

granted, now you are deaf
I wish I actually understood what is going on (I'm in class right now doing a post-lab for a starfish dissection that I missed)

 

Granted, but the class wants to dissect you next.

I wish the social events I'm interested in were more local.

 

granted but the cover charge/ticket/entrance fee is ludicrously expensive
i wish i had decent study habits