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Sad story an confusing

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Saxson, Aug 30, 2018.

  1. Saxson

    Saxson New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2018
    Messages:
    2
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    Location:
    Oregon USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So.. about me.. I think i realized i was Bi/gay? maybe when i was 13-14..

    I had a massive crush on my best friend me an him would do everything together from the time we woke up til he had to go in for the evening.. my story is a sad one.. and it breaks my heart to tell it.. so rewinding back to those days of when life was simple and i only worried about grades an peers.. It was about a month before my family and I had to move away.. and about a week before i had to move my crush decided he wanted to tell me that he too had a crush on me and that he was in love with me.. my heart about sank to the bottom of my feet i was scared? nervous?.. i don't know.. i froze n panic i wasn't expecting that and i took off.. my friend later apologized and told me he was kidding.. an deep down i know he wasn't.. few days later.. i moved away.. i never saw him again.. never heard from him again.. until recently.. i found him on facebook.. and instantly the old feelings came back.. 10 years it had been since i spoke too him last.. and i found him on facebook, of course i got really excited an hoped n prayed that he still felt the same way about me.. he never knew i was also in love with him.. i never found the courage to tell him.. i was scared an wasnt ready for my life to change like that.. now to speed up to the current time.. i messaged him he replied.. he wanted to meet up an hang out.. GREAT.. or so i thought.. it turns out he was heavy into drugs.. and in an out of jail alot in those 10 years we had been seperated.. and now hes avoiding me.. he wont talk to me.. he wont say anything to me.. i dont know if its the drugs.. or him being angry with me for leaving an never coming back.. an please bare in mind.. it breaks my heart knowing i hurt him like that.. everytime i think about it it makes me want to cry.. mind you no one knows about this.. no one.. i told one friend and he was supportive.. thankfully i just dont know what too do.. do i move on?.. I was honest with him i told him on facebook after i found out all that stuff about him i loved him.. an been in love with him for many years now, I dont know what to make of him.. he really confuses me.. he didnt block me.. he still has me as a friend and i can still message him.. but he never responds now.
     
  2. Thomas094

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2018
    Messages:
    55
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    East Coast USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    That is a lot of stuff to deal with. One, you extended yourself out to him and recognized your reaction could of hurt him. But sounds like he has a lot he is struggling and dealing with - so what you are seeing may not be about that as much as he is trying to figure where he is in life and how to move forward. You can do two things - let him know you are there if he ever wants to talk and let him know you want the best for him. Then he will decided when or if to get in touch with you. Stop beating yourself up- we all react to situations and sometimes it is not what we want conveyed - the recipients need to allow for that as well. That is life and just people learning to coexist. That is why words like Sorry and Thank You and Help me all exist - it is us finding our way and reaching out. It is awesome you care that much - but don't own his issues - just reconcile you did what you could and be okay with that!!!!

    good luck