Long story short, after I finished coming out to my friends, I figured it was time to move on to family. So, at the beginning of June, I told my brother. It went well, aside from the fact that we were both a little bit shell-shocked. The thing is, the only reason I did it was because we had a family reunion in about a week and I wanted to come out to my siblings ahead of time so that I could also come out to my counsins during reunions. I didn’t end up coming out to my cousins b/c not everyone was there and I didn’t have to go an entire year with half my cousins in-the-know and half my cousins unaware. Then I made it home and realized I had made that exact mistake with my siblings. My brother already knew I was bisexual. My sister did not. So now I had to tell my sister before she went off the college at the end of august. It never happened. Because I’m not going to tell my sister over text, I have to wait until thanksgiving before I’ll get another chance. And because I don’t want my sister to be the last to find out (we’re pretty close), that means I’ve also got a weird timer on coming out to my parents. There have been times when I’ve felt ready to tell my parents, but I didn’t want to do it because my sister has to find out first. That brings me to my next point. I don’t want to repeat the mistake with my parents. I’m definitely a lot less scared about coming out to my mom (I don’t have a great relationship with my dad) , but I really want to tell both of them at the same time so that this weird “I told my brother, now I’ve got a timer on telling my sister” thing doesn’t repeat itself. But yeah. I’m not really sure where this post was going, but - advice on telling my sister and my parents, please?
I, personally would tell them all over Thanksgiving. If you're worried about waiting too long and want to tell your sister first, you could pull your sister aside and tell her before telling your parents. I hope this helps even slightly.
Hmm, you do have a few options for telling your sister sooner than Thanksgiving if you would like. Will there be any time for you to visit your sister or for her to come home beforehand? You could do it then. FaceTime or Skype or similar? I get that coming out over text isn't for everyone but from a distance, video chat is probably as close as you can get to in person. Those are the first two things to come to mind. At the very least, if telling her in person is a necessity for you and that will be the next time you'll see her, you can definitely tell her first by pulling her aside or when she comes home before approaching your parents about it. Depending on how your family does Thanksgiving, you could do it for everyone then and just ask your brother to act like it's new information to him. (Obviously, that isn't ideal, but it's an option.)
The best advice I think I can give is: 1, you aren't at the mercy of any timetable, or order, except the ones that you are imposing upon yourself. Based on the numerous stories I've heard (as well as my own experiences) it's common for people to want to come out in a way that will ruffle the least feathers, and not upset anyone. Screw that. Stop thinking about other people, and just do your thing. You don't need to tell anyone in any particular order. Hell, I came out to most of the people I know via a simple facebook post. Ask yourself, why do you want to be so particular about the order and timing? Is it in an effort to tip-toe around everyone else's reactions, or to procrastinate telling someone you know will react negatively? Which leads me to my next point... 2, the best piece of advice anyone can give anyone else who's worried about coming out: 99% of people simply don't care, unless you're dealing with a group of gay-hating religious nuts. Coming out feels huge to us (because it is huge...for us), which can cause some people (not necessarily saying you) to make it into a grander spectacle than it needs to be. If you want to adhere to your plan of: telling group X, then group Y--oh, but one person from group Y won't be there, so I can't tell any of them, etc...then go for it. Only you know what's best for you. To me, it sounds like your plan is making your coming out WAY more complex and stressful than it needs to be.
