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My father is horrible and I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Asexual Pirate, Aug 31, 2018.

  1. Asexual Pirate

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Chattanooga, Tennesee
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    Genderqueer
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    Little bit of backstory: I am a working adult, married, living on our own, and haven't spoken to my father in three years. My parents went through a nasty divorce about two years ago because my father is an abusive a** We all cut ties with him as soon as possible and he moved to frickin Wyoming or somewhere to join a cult, I don't know.

    Anyway, I made it very clear to him that I do not want contact with him and have since ignored any attempts at communication he sends me (this is mostly to protect myself as I have 15 years of emotional and physical abuse to overcome and I don't need him gaslighting me). So all has been relatively quiet until my sister came out a few months ago. I was vocally supportive of her and helped her deal with extended family that has more conservative views. Shortly after that, I started receiving religious pamphlets in the mail that have been postmarked from Wyoming. I'm fairly certain they are from my father given that a) he hates the LGBT+ community; heck, he's told me he wishes gay people could be arrested like in his day and he forced me to go to counseling and get my hormones checked when I came out asexual. b) he's very religious and homeschooled me k-12 to try and keep me away from "satan's schools" and believes anyone who supports the "gay agenda" is going to hell. c) ironically, I was his favorite child and I think this is an attempt to either save my soul or get me to contact him again.

    I don't know what to do. I'm tired of getting these things in the mail on a weekly basis, but I don't want to tell him to stop as that would be breaking my no contact with him and opening up an opportunity for him to talk to me. I just, I'm done and really wish he would stay on his half of the country and leave me to mine.



    TL;DR: my father is an a**hat who won't stop sending my religious pamphlets in the mail after my sister came out and I supported her. Don't know what to do.
     
  2. InbornGame

    Regular Member

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    It sounds like your sister is really lucky to have you and your support.

    I don’t think you have to tell him to stop if you don’t want to talk to him. I don’t know that you even need to acknowledge that you’re getting them. You could just treat them like any other piece of junk mail? I’ve found that tearing credit card offers and political advertisements into tiny pieces can be very satisfying...