1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Sometimes I think about leaving this site.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Canterpiece, Aug 17, 2018.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 2
  1. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,765
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Mainly because it doesn't feel the same as it did when I first joined, there's something about that period of time (when you first join a forum) it's exciting since you get to meet a bunch of different people and have various conversations but it feels as if my profile is a just a corpse of what it once was.

    As though I've exhausted everything that I came here to talk about already, and that anything else would just be going in circles. I guess in a way I got hooked on the attention and praise that I got from others. Felt good to have people tell me that I inspired them and made others happy. Yeah, I know that's self-centred of me but it gave me fleeting happiness and I miss that. Almost like a buzz of energy.

    Now it feels as if they have all moved on, and I suppose they have. I don't think I have much more to contribute these days, this place just reminds me of the person I used to be rather than who I am now.
     
    #1 Canterpiece, Aug 17, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2018
  2. dano218

    dano218
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,165
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I just came back on this site after a very long time and I get what you mean. Now I don't mean to bash this site but it seems to be not as active and responsive as it used to be. Now I am blaming anyone or anything lots of sites lose their enthusiasm after awhile but I have no idea what can be done to fix it.
     
    #2 dano218, Aug 17, 2018
  3. HM03

    HM03
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2013
    Messages:
    2,625
    Likes Received:
    508
    Location:
    Pergatory
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Same. The forum, myself and my life have all changed a lot since I first joined.

    Way back when, it seemed like most people here were either in the same boat as me (aka closeted) or slightly older and out (providing somebody to look up to, a role model of sorts).

    Now it seems like most of the activity and new members are people that are quite a bit younger than me and closeted. The people I talke to have either stopped logging in or I have other ways of getting a hold of them. Oh well. People change with time
     
    #3 HM03, Aug 17, 2018
  4. quebec

    quebec
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,206
    Likes Received:
    2,371
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hello All.....Empty closets is the people who post here. As our society changes, so too does this site. As we change, so too does our view of this site. When I first logged on 3 1/2 years ago I was desperate for help...help that I received. I admit that I haven't seen a lot of desperate posts in the last few months...some but not very many. For me EC gave me the immediate support that I needed and then kept me afloat for a year until I finally came out to someone face-to-face and had a irl person to talk to. Since then it has been more of a place where I can do my best to help others. There is still a real need for a welcoming place like empty closets. I'm sure that some folks will find that they no longer need the support that EC can provide. However, until our society considers that you do love more important than who you love I think EC will always have a role to play. Perhaps not for everyone, but for many.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #4 quebec, Aug 17, 2018
  5. Danabutton

    Danabutton
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2018
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    76
    Location:
    Baltimore
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I’m a GenXer and this is the only place I feel safe but I do agree in that I wish there were more closeted people of my generation to chat with
     
    #5 Danabutton, Aug 17, 2018
  6. Ram90

    Ram90
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    394
    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I feel that depending on what you're looking for and what is going on in real life, outside of emptyclosets and the internet can have a lot of impact on the time and energy you spend online.

    When I joined EC I was closeted completely and wanted to interact with queer people of all ages, genders, orientation and preferences. Because I wanted to explore myself and discover myself through exposure to people of all categories.

    Gradually as I discovered and accepted myself, my reasons for bring EC shifted and I started looking for other things. As real life caught up with me I started spending less time online and more time offline, making open-minded friends and coming out to more people.

    Now my reasons for coming back to EC are selfish again and different from when I was active here last (almost 3 years ago). I'm not sure how active I'm going to be this time or how long I'll stay this time. But that's EC in my opinion. It'll always be there.

    My two cents.
     
    #6 Ram90, Aug 17, 2018
  7. Nightlight

    Nightlight
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2018
    Messages:
    415
    Likes Received:
    49
    Location:
    East Asia
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Same. I used to have an old account for discussing my problems, then I quit because I was using too much internet. A few years later, I made this one again so I could talk more about my problems. I don't do it as much because I realize now it's something that I can only give answer to. I still enjoy leaving one or two comments here sometimes.

    I do agree that this site has become more quieter. This site is one of the nicest, least chaotic site on the internet imo, so I don't think I'll delete my account anytime soon.
     
    #7 Nightlight, Aug 18, 2018
  8. Destin

    Destin
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    715
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I also feel like I've gone through as much as I can here as far as discussing my problems goes - at this point it's just variations of the same stuff that comes up and gets more or less the same answers from the same people. I've realized though that even though that's the case for me, other people have new problems and I owe it to them to stay here and help them if I can just like other people helped me when I really needed it and was going through the most confusing and painful time of my life. The friendships I've made here would be hard to leave also, there are some really awesome people here and it's definitely the most welcoming site I've ever seen on the internet.
     
    #8 Destin, Aug 19, 2018
  9. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    Likewise. It seems like I'll spend an hour or more writing something out to only be ignored completely or get one or two very short responses. It's not that I don't appreciate even a short response, I know that I'm not entitled to help and everyone here is volunteering their time but I might as well just be writing in a journal or something. Maybe I don't articulate myself well enough or maybe I've just pissed some people off without meaning to. I don't know.. It seems like there are a lot of people just lurking.

    I only joined last year and the dwindling number of contributing users is noticeable already. My guess would be it has something to do with the site being overhauled/redesigned. There seems to be a lot of new users but the only ones I see responding to posts are a small selection of regulars. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this?

    I was probably just expecting too much.
     
    #9 fadedstar, Aug 19, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2018
  10. Destin

    Destin
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2018
    Messages:
    2,055
    Likes Received:
    715
    Location:
    The United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I looked over all your threads from the last year and actually most of what you wrote did get a bunch of responses, not sure why you think you're being ignored. There's only three that got 2 or less replies and one is new so will probably get more soon. I noticed I responded to some of these also and I'm definitely not ignoring your new one, sometimes stuff just gets overlooked due to the time of day it was posted. None of your threads were ignored completely, they all have at least one response.

    Capture.PNG
     
    #10 Destin, Aug 19, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2018
  11. fadedstar

    fadedstar Guest

    Okay, yeah you're right but the ones that get most responses seem to the be the more "relatable" or controversial (because everyone has something to say when there is controvesry involved) type posts, it seems people are less interested otherwise. And my point still stands. Most get a couple short and sweet replies and some get zero. Bare in mind I sometimes post anonymously.

    I also notice that you joined in 2018 (I can't remember when the site was overhauled) but it was some time after I joined in 2017 and all I was saying is that it just seems less active now.. I can only imagine what it was like in 2013 or something.. I don't think I'm being ignored outright... all I said is sometimes I spend hours on a post and it gets ignored which is a little disheartening.
     
    #11 fadedstar, Aug 19, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2018
  12. quebec

    quebec
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,206
    Likes Received:
    2,371
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    fadedstar.....Like a lot of things empty closets has "highs & lows". By that I mean sometimes there are a lot of new posts and other times not so many. I try to logon everyday...sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the people looking for help. At other times there is just not a lot of activity. Certainly as the LGBTQ Family becomes more accepted (I think that's happening...I hope that's happening) the need for a place like EC will decrease. However, I think it will be a long time before empty closets becomes obsolete. You can see posts here on EC now that say "I think my parents will accept me...but I'm so scared". Even in a family situation where acceptance has been taught, there is still that worry. I have a friend who has made it a point to teach her four children acceptance. She recently took her 15 year-old daughter to a concert where there where quite a few obviously gay couples also in attendance. Her daughter thought that it was great that they came and where being themselves at the concert. My friend was very happy that her daughter was so accepting...however, my friend is convinced that if she told her daughter that she (my friend, the mother) is a lesbian, that her daughter would react differently. Perhaps she is wrong...only the future will tell that. In the meantime as long being LGBTQ remains the exception, the unusual, the different...there will be a place for empty closets.
    .....David "gay_pride_flag:
     
    #12 quebec, Aug 20, 2018
  13. Hawk

    Hawk
    Admin Team Full Member Away

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    13,419
    Likes Received:
    1,496
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I honestly think of doing the same. All the people who joined when I did, most have moved on, though there still are a couple who have stuck around. And I've noticed that it's just all-around a lot quieter than it used to be. Even if you need to take a break from here, I'm sure it'll still be around if and when you ever want to check back in.

    I think EC is a great resource for those who need it, and if you think you've gotten all you need from it, there's no reason to stick around and bore yourself if all your friends have gone.
     
    #13 Hawk, Aug 20, 2018
  14. Morse Code

    Morse Code
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2014
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I hardly post here, I'm bad with that. One thing you can remember is that new people are constantly joining and they may not go and read your past posts.
     
    #14 Morse Code, Aug 21, 2018
  15. Canterpiece

    Canterpiece
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,765
    Likes Received:
    108
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Personally I find it odd when they do, I've had people message me about old threads on my wall before. It can seem strange, because I either forgot about writing a specific post or was in a weird place at the time and it's odd looking back on them now. However, I don't mind discussing my old threads if asked about them, but if can feel strange to see how much I've changed. That hasn't happened in a while though.
     
    #15 Canterpiece, Aug 22, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
  16. Kodo

    Kodo
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
    Likes Received:
    849
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    When I joined this site I was closeted and terrified. Now three years later I'm on T, out to everyone, and have top surgery scheduled for next summer.

    What I've noticed is that my position has changed since I initially joined. I used to ask for tons of advice, sought a lot of help since I was not being supported in real life, and generally vented about what was on my mind. Now that I'm a few years down the road I have advice to give and experience to share. So I've found that maybe while I may not need as much help, I can offer it to those who do. EC has been monumental in supporting me through the process of coming out and transitioning. If I could help anyone the way I was helped, it would be worth it to stay.
     
    #16 Kodo, Aug 22, 2018
  17. quebec

    quebec
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,206
    Likes Received:
    2,371
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Kodo.....I very much like and agree with what you said!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #17 quebec, Aug 23, 2018
  18. msm24681

    msm24681
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2018
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United states
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi
    Hi Im new and I believe the reason we look at old posts is because we are desperate to find answers to our ... issues. LOL
     
    #18 msm24681, Aug 23, 2018
  19. quebec

    quebec
    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2014
    Messages:
    4,206
    Likes Received:
    2,371
    Location:
    U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    msm24681.....Welcome to empty closets and I do so hope that you find answers to those questions! Ask away...you are part of our LGBTQ Family and we do care!
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    #19 quebec, Aug 23, 2018
  20. msm24681

    msm24681
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2018
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    United states
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    If you can, please read my recent/only thread. Im kind of low key/high key really indecisive on what to do. Thanks!! :slight_smile:
     
    #20 msm24681, Aug 23, 2018
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2