Returning to school in 2 days - how can I make my last year a good one?

The biggest regret I hear from people about high school is they wish they did stuff they were afraid to do at the time. Whether it was going on a school trip, talking to particular people, joining a club, going to parties etc. they always wish they had done it once it's too late. On the other hand, I almost never hear people say they regret doing stuff even if it ended badly - then it just becomes a funny story.

If you want to do something, just go and do it. Don't let fear or what other people think about it stop you because then you'll just regret not doing it later and it'll be too late to fix it.

This is also the best time to make lasting friendships - it's a lot harder to make friends as an adult, right now you're forced to be with the same people all day for a year so have tons of opportunities to talk and socialize. As an adult nobody cares about socializing anymore, they just want to do their own thing and go home so it makes it more difficult to make friends. High school friendships almost never last forever, but they usually do last around 3-4 years which gives you people to talk to until you find adult friends, which is helpful.

 

Great to hear from you too

Being friends with younger kids isn't necessarily a bad thing - I'm 22 and the youngest of my friends are the same age as you and graduating high school this year. They're 4-5 years younger and we still got along decently when they were 13-14 and I was 18. Ironically one of them is coming to the same university I'm at next year too so it'll be the same situation all over again, him as a freshman and me as a senior just like high school.

You didn't have 0 friends there really though, there was that one friend you didn't like much at least. It's still totally possible to make new friends senior year, maybe even easier than usual since people realize they want people to talk to as adults so will try to get as many high school friends as they can before they graduate.

You could always try setting up study groups with people, even if you don't actually need any help in that subject it's a good excuse to get kids together (and there's almost never actual studying in study groups... people get distracted and talk about random other stuff instead which helps them bond).

 

High school is both a bad and good time of your life. It doesn't sound like your previous years were good, so if you want to have a good final year then ask yourself exactly what your title says " how do I make this year good?" Don't do what you did in the past.
As Destin said and I'm sure others will, get out of your comfort zone. Force yourself to talk to other kids, at least one kid per class. Join clubs or groups even if they are full of younger kids. Its perfectly fine to be friends with someone 2-3 years younger. As you grow up there's going to be people in your life who aren't your age. When you go to college or work there will be lots of different ages of people.
Take a class that's unique like art, wood shop, physics, something that's not you. You might find that you like it.

 

Good luck! I'm sure you'll have a good year

 

You can still talk to them, don't let one homophobe prevent you from socializing, you can just mostly ignore him and talk to the other people instead if you want to.

 

Don't get so discouraged yet, it's only the first few hours - I've gotten to know you pretty well through this site and I'm certain there's at least a few people there who would like being friends with a nice guy like you. Starting a new school year is always uncomfortable, but it will get better, just try to be open to things and don't let people like that one homophobe guy ruin it for you.

 

hey joe! the first few days can actually be the toughest, so don’t give up rightaway. you can do this! it’s hard to get to know people based on first impressions so be sure not to write everyone off rightaway yet - maybe there’ll be people who surprise you!

i have to disagree about what was said above about it being harder to make friends after high school - i had no friends for most of my school time and the few friends i made towards the end, i immediately lost touch with after i moved away for college. but i’ve made great friends in all sorts of places afterwards and those friendships have lasted a lot better. so don’t get discouraged - yes, outside a school setting you need to show a but more initiative to meet people because you’re no longer forced to sit in the same room as people all the time, but it is definitely not impossible. also, i always felt like the people in my high school just weren’t my kind of people and that largely was right, because once i moved away i met more likeminded people. but, interestingly enough, i also became friends with two people from my high school who i wasn’t friends with in school because it turned out that once i got to know them they actually weren’t so bad at all!

you want to make this year a good one, which is a very understandable goal if the previous years haven’t really been all that great. it is also a HUGE goal though, and the thing about huge goals is that they seem so impossible to reach that we end up not fighting our hardest for them because the impossibility is so incredibly discouraging. it might be helpful to think in smaller, more concrete goals. so, for example, go day by day and think of a goal for that day that you know you will be able to achieve. they can be anything that helps towards improving yourself and your situation. on some days this could be “i should initiate a conversation with at least one person today”. on other days it could be “i should participate in this activity that’s happening today for at least ten minutes.” on yet another day it could be “i should ask someone if they want to have a study session together”. i know socialising can be incredibly difficult especially if you feel a bit isolated from your peers, so don’t set the bar too high for yourself. on some days when you’re not feeling too great or brave your goals might have to be super low; on other days you can be a little more ambitious. but it’s human nature to be motivated when we achieve goals and to get discouraged when our goals are so big that we think we can’t reach them. so many teeny tiny goals works a lot better than one overwhelmingly large goal!

also, i would like to add that if school doesn’t work out, look outside of it. a bad school situation sucks, but is so much more bearable if your situation outside of school is better. so look into picking up sports or a hobby, join a club outside school, get to know people elsewhere. i made it through school because i had a good network elsewhere and enough hope for the future to know that high school was just something i had to go through and then afterwards things would get better (and they did! so much!). but i also tried to work on improving some skills when i was still in high school that i could use to avoid ending up in the same situation again. i had a massive social phobia back in high school, but worked on improving my social skills one teeny tiny step at a time and i’m not anxiety-free but i did get to a point where when i went to college, i managed to initiate a conversation with whoever sat down next to me (and the more you do that, the easier it gets)! so if nothing else works, still keep going with small goals and making baby steps. it’ll be worth it in the future, promised!

how do you make your year great? you don’t. you try to make every day a good day. and eventually the good days will come together and you’ll be able to look back and think “you know what? this year wasn’t all that bad!”