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LGBT News allies rainbows, signs reading “ally but straight” thoughts?

Discussion in 'Current Events, World News, & LGBT News' started by merry, Aug 17, 2018.

  1. merry

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    so, question, does anyone here feel like allies wearing rainbows in support, of folks that seem quite heteronormative using hashtags like “women crush wednesday” on social media are making it more difficult for lgbtq people to have recognition?


    and at events like pride, or even on social media, does anyone find signs like “straight ally” (vs just ally) or “supportive :gay_pride_flag: but straight” offensive?

    where is the line? when our town had pride the newspaper posted pictures of such signs and one one hand i thought, man we have come a long way...

    at some of the original pride events people came in masks, homosexuality was still illegal and people, like leah delaria, we’re still being arrested for simply holding hands with another woman in public.

    look at how much pride has grown!

    on the other hand, are we being exploited now.. pride as a brand!? how many advertisements and commercials were rainbow centric this summer? kudos to big companies for making a statement and risking backlash, but they only jumped on after the numbers grew and pride swept the nation...

    personally, my feelings aren’t fully expressed here, more curiosity on how others in the community feel about these things.
     
    #1 merry, Aug 17, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2018
  2. BiGoth1982

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    Your thread is very interesting.

    As far as straight allies go, I really don't mind them. For example, at Pride, I don't mind straight couples, straight families, ect... I don't mind them because they make me feel good and accepted. And I don't mind them because we can't fight this fight alone. We need them to help us fight the haters. Also, any money they spend at Pride on rainbow items helps the queer vendors at Pride, so it's all good for us all. :slight_smile:
    Obviously, what I do mind are straight haters coming to Pride to harass us... and I do love seeing our straight allies telling those people to go away. :slight_smile:

    Now, I do have an issue with straight "allies" using our community to make money off of us. For example, I don't like being misrepresented in literature by straight authors writing gay fiction because it's "trendy" and because it sells. Our orientation isn't a trend and I have an issue with straight people making money off of us without trying helping our community. It is something I actually fight against because it really bothers me on many different levels. It has come to a point where they are not allies anymore but fetishizers, who, for the most part, oversexualize us (as if we need more of that image to be spread around)... :-(

    As far as companies go, I don't know how I feel about them using rainbows... It feels okay, I guess, because I like knowing where I can go and where I am welcome and safe...
    At Pride, I'd like to see more rainbow vendors than businesses though, but we need them to pay for those booths so Pride can actually happen... so it's fine.

    What do you think?
     
  3. fadedstar

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    I think given the current political climate and some of the rhetoric I've seen lately any support is better than none. Anyone who has a problem with this kind of thing is probably their own worst enemy and a hindrance to the cause.
     
  4. merry

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    support is great! from all people. i would never assume a straight appearing couple or family is in fact heteronormative, and enjoy seeing families and male/female couples in the crowd.

    i am a cis woman and go with my husband and children, and i am not straight.

    yes! the marketing thing is one of the issues i was trying to express...

    at our pride there were rogue vendors walking up and down streets, they even hopped in the parade route, selling flags and other stuff... and i am pretty certain they aren’t at all supporting the community with their funds, more did they pay for vendor passes... these are just the little guys. big corporations were there too.. and all over tv with adds, especially in june!

    on that note...
    i like the idea of dyke day l.a. and events that aren’t based off of marketing.

    i think it is a great celebration, but i also feel like some folks turn it into an excuse to party... i saw a women with a rainbow tie dye shirt, who i happen to know, and she is straight, confirmed... her shirt read “life is easy” ... while i appreciate anyone that can make good of a situation and be the life of a good party i don’t think most people realize how necessary pride is for us lgbtq + a folks.


    thank you for your response! i am glad this is sparking some chatter and am so curious to hear more of what people have thought about the subject.
     
  5. merry

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    their own worst enemy! that is ironic, considering some of the lgbtq people i originally heard some of these notions from seem quite miserable.

    example: one person was complaining about never finding herself dates because she is confused by al of these women posting womencrushwednesday hashtags on their social media... somehow that makes it harder for her to determine who is queer. while i see her point about blurring the lines of being out i’m not sure i could be upset about it.

    thank you for sharing!
     
  6. BiGoth1982

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    When we go to Pride, I tell my husband to be careful what he wears and how he behaves. I am a bit annoying about it, I think, but he understands.
    I tell him, "This is not your community, and people cannot tell if you are gay, bi, or straight, therefore you shouldn't act or wear something that could be detrimental to a community you are not a part of."
    If straight people go to Pride, I would hope they would understand that. :slight_smile:

    @fadedstar I agree! We can never have too many allies! :slight_smile:
     
  7. Loves books

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    I don't mind allies making sure everyone knows they are straight as long as they are supportive. I don't mind the ads that feature gay people I get that companies are trying to prove their gay friendly or liberal or something but I don't really care. What does bother me are the over zealous allies who go too far to prove they love gay people and quite frankly put themselves where they are not wanted.
     
  8. BiGoth1982

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    That's very interesting! Do you have examples of overzealous allies? I'm curious.
    For example, I have a serious problem with straight women fetishizing gay men... I understand they think it's them showing their acceptance, but honestly, it feels like exploitation. Our orientations are not up for others to exploit and fetishize or in some cases misrepresent.
    What do you think?
     
  9. Loves books

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    Some people just don't get how they can be surportive of LGBT+ people without either doing it wrong or going too far. Like when my straight friend wanted to go to pride with me she didn't get that pride is more than a giant party she just thought it would be cool and not the fact that until 93 being gay in Ireland was illegal. I was going to celebrate the fact I couldn't be arrested fir being in love.Pride is for the gay people to express themselves and celebrate their sexuality and not for straight people's entertainment. But then you have the people who get overly offended about anti gay stuff. They aren't gay but there really offended anyway. And the straight people who militantly protest for gay rights. A bit of support is nice but we can fight our own fights. I'm not offended every time I hear a homophobic comment because some people are just assholes, but I wouldn't want a straight friend arguing for me because it's nothing to do with them.
     
  10. BiGoth1982

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    I partially disagree with you because homophobia is a straight people problem. Therefore it is for them to work on that, not us. Of course, we have to fight, but homophobes don't listen to gay people. The same way that racists don't listen to black people.
    As a white person who lives in the US, I know racism is a white people problem and it is not a fight for black people to fight. It is a fight that white people need to fight among their own. Black people should not have to fight it alone. It is a problem that affects them, but it is not their problem, if that makes sense. And LGBT people shouldn't have to fight alone because homophobia isn't their problem.

    But I do agree that many straight people don't understand the meaning of Pride. But to be fair to them, neither do many of the younger LGBT population. :-(
    I have seen many even diss Pride and how "useless" it is. We really need to educate our young LGBT peers.

    I do have a story to show how some straight people exploit us but don't understand us though. There was an author I deeply admired whom I thought was a bisexual man. That person helped me accept myself as bi to the point where I almost came out. It turned out that person was actually a straight female pretending to be a bi man. I can't even express how deeply that hurt me and many other queers.
    When this was discussed among other people, one author, who is a popular straight female author of gay fiction, laughed about the whole thing. She thought it was funny that a straight woman had pretended to be a bisexual man to sell more gay books. That a straight person had appropriated our culture to make herself rich. As an author of gay fiction, that other person didn't understand what the problem was with that.
    That, to me, was a perfect example of straight people exploiting us and not understanding us or even really caring about us.
    The whole thing really broke my heart.
     
  11. Ghost93

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    I personally think that some LGBT people really need to lighten up or we will have no allies. And yes, we NEED straight allies because they make up the majority of the population. Without straight allies, we would still not be allowed to marry and we would still be jailed or put in a mental institution for same-sex activity.

    The reason people say "straight ally" is to emphasize to other straight people that they too can advocate for gay rights and participate in pride events. These signs are not hurting the fight for equality, they are helping.

    In general (as in the real world, not necessarily referring to anything specifically in this thread) I get very frustrated when I see other gay people lash out at well-meaning straight people for maybe not saying the correct term or for wearing the wrong thing or not understanding the weight of the event or (I can't believe this offends people) actually protesting too hard. I feel this sort of uptight/self-righteousness is actually detrimental to the fight for equality. Seeing that at least a good third of the country actually hates gay people, I find it baffling that so many LGBT people fussing over trivial things that some straight allies do.