I’d like to date but at the same time I feel I can’t do it. First of all I think I’m lazy to do that, you know, to meet someone and get to know him and such. Second, I’m scared because I don’t know how to intereact with people, it’s difficult for me at times. Another reason is that I don’t feel good enough for anybody. My job is awful, I’m boring and people get tired of me. And another thing is that I think that what will happen if I end up dating the wrong person, I don’t want to ruin the opportunity to date a guy I really like and being alone forever (which is what I’m thinking at this point of my life)
My fear of meeting the wrong kind of people, thinking I'm boring myself and fear of people finding out I'm queer kept me from online dating for a long time. I do sort of regret not having the courage to try it earlier. In am glad I'm trying it now. Since I'm not too concerned about going on a certain number of dates a week or messaging a certain number of people a day, I don't have anything to prove to myself. I have slow days and busy days where people might or might not message me. I share my pics and details like prefetencws, hobbies and do small talk with whoever I'm comfortable with. It took me a while to be comfortable enough to put up my own picture as my display pic and talk about my preferences, but now I'm comfortable. Sure, you will meet weirdos. Trust me, most of the people out there on those sites are sort of weirdos. But you will meet nice guys too. Just be patient and take your time to sign up.
My experience was that I needed to date a bunch of wrong guys to find the right guy. Gotta start somewhere.
Even when you have crap dates, you've gained a valuable bit of experience, and get a better idea of what you want and don't want in a person. I've been on some nice dates, but quite often it seems the guys were looking for something serious and long term, whereas I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or husband, I was just trying out dating after be so long without going on dates. Many people have lots of expectations going on dates, like they were hoping to be dazzled by me and swept off their feet by me, and they weren't. I just wanted someone different to chat to and see how it goes. So while I haven't had any happy endings where a date has lead to a long term romance, it doesn't matter. I go on dates for my reasons, not for somebody else. If I'm not good enough for someone, fine, whatever. They're probably not good enough for me either. And don't let your job put you off. We all need to make a living somehow. Own your job and be proud of what you do to earn your money, no matter how dull or unglamorous the job is. The job is not who you are, it's just what you do. Don't let it cause you shame. Somebody has to do it.
