What was it like for you to come out as bisexual?

Hi I'm Jake and bisexual and my wife doesn't understand how I can be with her and like both

 

Exactly.
Like @Jakebusman I'm finding that coming out as bi to my wife is not as smooth as I imagined. But I have to be authentic, and I wouldn't keep something from her, so it is worth the disappointment I feel from her reaction.

 

I just wish bisexuality wasn't hard to understand

 

Ditto to all of the above. Makes my wife feel like she isn’t providing something. I feel like it’s not overly difficult to understand I crave something she can’t provide.

 

Excatlly

 

Feel like it's ering sometimes

 

Hi.

I came out to my wife as bisexual a couple years ago. I have to say it wasn't bad at all. She gets me and is not really concerned about it. We enjoy checking out guys together and play other games like that just to normalize it. I do have some intimacy with other guys but would be OK with monogamy if my wife were still interested in sex. I didn't have any desire to stray for 34 years of marriage until my wife decided I should experience my full sexuality.

I'm not out to anyone else. A lot of people see being bisexual as being a pervert. So, it is hard to have that conversation with friends and family. I hope you are able to be comfortable sharing with others your orientation.

 

I met my husband when I was discovering my bisexuality, and he helped me through it. Although, to be honest, at the time, it was because he was hoping for a threesome LOL. Since then, I have managed to make him understand that my orientation isn't up for exploitation or for him to fulfill his fantasies... Other than that glitch when we were younger, he has been wonderful and supportive.
Sadly, as expressed by @Jakebusman and @Stellardan it seems to be more difficult for bisexual men. :-(

I have also come out to friends, but they are online friends, so it was less daunting than IRL friends. Basically, I kind of make it obvious by commenting on women I like and if they get what I'm saying, great, if not, then whatever. I don't really "come out," I just basically kind of imply things.

I am not out to my family at all. It breaks my heart every day, and it has forced me to put more and more distance between us as I am getting more and more involved in our community (hard to explain what you're doing over the weekend when you're going to Pride and your family isn't the type to understand...). I don't think they believe being bi is even a thing, and I don't need the heartache of being rejected by them.

Who are you trying to come out to?

So far, everyone I've met and told has been very kind about me being bi. But I've only told people who accept LGBT people as a whole.

If you think being out might jeopardize your job or situation, it might be best to remain in the closet...

 

Alot of people think Bi isn't real

 

So what you’re saying is I shoukdnt tell my family I want to goto the Folsome Street fair?

 

Who are you responding to? Do you mean your family as in your wife or your extended family?

You should tell whomever you want whatever you want. Whatever you're comfortable with. ;-)
I'm not sure what Folsome Street fair is... is it like Pride?

I don't tell my family, but that's only because it's none of their business and I know they would react poorly and just ruin my fun day.

However, my husband comes with me to Pride, and if I had kids, they would come with me as well.

 

Ugh... I'm lucky I haven't met those people yet.

 

I guess sometimes feel like it's wrong to be this way

 

*sigh* Well, last night, I did cry in my husband's arms and told him I don't like who I am. He told me it was okay to be bi, but it doesn't change the fact that I was taught to hate myself for it.

 

I'm happy your husband is so accepting. My wife is also. But, I know that self hate. I learned to hate myself as a young man because I was never taught anything about sex. My folks would never broach the subject and I didn't know what it meant to have sexual attraction. I just thought that was how you felt about your best friend. When I discovered what I was I so hated myself and decided I could never have a girlfriend or get married. After awhile I just set it aside. I could be "straight" just fine.

This is a problem for a lot of us I think. We can live as a straight person. But, after awhile it just wears you down....this secret and self loathing...no matter how hard we try and hide it. I just had lunch with a lesbian couple. The subject of gay discrimination came up. I was too afraid to disclose to them that I know how it feels because we have friends in common I just cannot let know yet. This is very hard. Why come out when we can be just fine hiding out in "straight land"?

 

Yes, there are people I know who are gay and I am not out to them. It is in my line of work, though, and because I am too concerned about the words spreading.

I feel like a fraud, really, when I'm hiding like that.

I am glad to know your wife is okay with it too.

 

To make it easier for other people to accept who they are.
To quote Lestat in the movie Queen of the Damned "Come out, come out, wherever you are"(wherever you are in this case of course excludes countries were being openly homosexual or bisexual is dangerous)
The more we are open about our sexuality, the easier it gets for others. There are a lot of us. Unfortunately a lot of us are hiding, even if there is no reason to do so.

 

That is true. Sadly, even when it is safe to be out, it can still cost us our jobs.
Or in cases where a government changes drastically, it can suddenly become dangerous to be out.
But you are still absolutely correct. If we were all out, we (queer people) would probably outnumber the straight population... Half the people I know are bi. No one knows they're bi except other bisexuals...
If only we could fight the fear in ourselves, and I say this for myself also.