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Do I have a right to feel offended by my psychiatrist's comment?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Skiploom, Aug 17, 2018.

  1. Skiploom

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    A little over a month ago, I was admitted to a mental hospital due to the fact that the medicine I've been using for the past year didn't seem to improve my mental health, so I needed to be prescribed new medicine. The very first day, I was called into a psychiatrist office where she began asking me all sorts of questions to get the general idea of me. I don't particularly remember how the conversation turned weird but it began with her asking something along the lines 'Have you ever had or do you have a boyfriend?' so I felt the need to tell her that I'm a lesbian. She seemed intrigued and asked some more questions such as 'Have you ever been in a relationship with a girl?' 'When did you realize that you're gay', etc. I answered honestly that I've never been with a girl (or with no one for that matter) and my realization came around the time when I was 15 or 16 years old (I'm 21 now). The conversation also focused on my overall goals in life, which I told her that I'm very passionate about activism, that I'm involved in numerous LGBT+ organizations where I volunteer, that my current dream is to become an artist, so I could give positive LGBT+ representation in my creations. I also told her that most of my friends are LGBT+. I believe that because I talked about LGBT+ a lot, she probably got the wrong impression that I'm sort of 'fake lesbian who convinced herself that she's gay so she could be accepted into a community and feel special...' because just before I was about to leave the office she said something that truly brought some confusion, she said 'You know, non-straight people realize that they are what they are in their early childhood, in your case I believe that it stems from the need to belong somewhere. I guess we will talk about this in our future meetings.' I was baffled, her words didn't sink in until later.' I want to be mad at her, since I believe she's so wrong, but is there some sort of truth in her comment? Did I misunderstand her? How would you react in my place?
     
  2. DirectionNorth

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    Do you have to see her again, or is there a way you can see another doctor? That is so convoluted, I'm sorry to be so blunt and short, but that is so ignorant. ALOT of people don't realize until they're older, or at least teens, etc. Some know from an early age, but I've heard about people realizing after they're 50 and married to a man or divorced with kids, it truly is any age people can realize it. I know, I'm preaching to the choir about that, it's just so frustrating when people like that think they know everything.

    It could be dangerous why she wants to focus on that more and my guess, try to change it, and I would go to another doctor and either not mention it, or mention it in passing, but try to get the focus more on what you're there for. I don't mean go back in the closet or feel in any way your sexuality is wrong, of course, it's just i find, if you're going to deal with ignorant homophobes, either get away or just focus more on why you're there.

    Ugh, those people make me so angry!
     
  3. HM03

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    Completely in a general sense, people are allowed to emotionally react to something however they react. And if possible, if you don't like or don't think they are helping you, you should dump them (therapist/ psychiatrist etc) to the curb and get a new one.

    If I were you, I'd be pissed over her comment. Definitely not true - I realized later than the majority of the gay people I know.
     
  4. Destin

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    Yea that's offensive and she sounds like an awful psychiatrist if she doesn't realize not everyone knows when they're kids. Most kids don't even know they're straight until they're like 10 or older (they say eww girls/boys are yucky! etc.) so for her to say everyone knows their sexuality in early childhood is just really ignorant.
     
    #4 Destin, Aug 17, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2018
  5. PennyT

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    Some people figure it out during toddler-hood. Some people figure it out when they're married with five grown kids. I didn't figure it out until I was 19. It's awful that someone would make such a comment to you like that. You shouldn't have to prove your sexuality, especially not to someone who is supposed to help you. Only you can figure out your sexuality. People like that make me so frustrated. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that kind of behavior. *hugs*
     
  6. SoulSearch

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    Ask for another therapist. She’s wrong. There are all different places on the sexuality spectrum and it can be fluid. I’m a woman in my 40s, married to a man for 20 years, and have fallen head over heels for a woman. There’s an entire Facebook group for later in life lesbians with thousands of members.
     
  7. mnguy

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    I'd go back and talk about it more for clarity. I can't believe a mental health professional would really think all gay people knew their orientation at a young age. If she really thinks that, she's highly uneducated on the subject. You can correct her on that and then not see her again. I think a lot of people can see see signs of their sexuality in hindsight, but didn't know what it was when they were younger so maybe that's what she's thinking of. That doesn't mean that at the time you knew you were gay. I hope you get a better psychiatrist if this one really doesn't understand the basics of human sexuality.
     
  8. Chip

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    I'm sorry you experienced that. Psychiatrists and psychologists or therapists are completely different animals.

    A psychiatrist is a medical doctor specializing in brain disorders. They do not get a lot of training in psychotherapy, cultural diversity, LGBT issues, or anything of the sort... which is how you end up with people making the sort of ignorant comments you heard from this person.

    I would not go back to her. It might also be worth sending an email to her and let her know that her perceptions are incorrect (which she can easily research) and that she's doing a huge disservice by telling people that. Either she'll take it and look it up and change... or she'll be arrogant and ignore it. But at least you tried.

    You should be able to find a psychiatrist who is more informed about LGBT issues. I wish you the best in finding someone you feel comfortable with.