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Fluid Sexuality

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by DreamerAsh, Aug 15, 2018.

  1. DreamerAsh

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gay
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    I feel like my sexuality changes as it pleases. I can never pin it down to a label. It's men, women, nonbinary, androgynous, trans. I don't wanna say bisexual, because I don't like two genders. And I don't like to say pansexual as though I do like "multiple" genders I don't like all the colors of the rainbow in gender. I'm very specific about the ones that interest me. And I can't say I don't see gender as I clearly do as I know I wouldn't be interested in dating a genderfluid person, or pangender, or agender, or trigender, or bigender. So, pansexual, yet again, doesn't work. I'm not demisexual either as I can fall easily for anyone, almost anytime. Basically I have no label. Lately I'm more gay than anything, but I honestly don't know, I wouldn't rule out dating a woman.
     
  2. Eveline

    Full Member

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    As far as I can understand, pansexual doesn't mean that you are attracted to every person you meet, it just means that gender identity isn't something that would stop you from potentially feeling attraction to a person.

    However, labels tend to be a bit subjective in nature. You are attracted to who you are attracted to and the labels are just there as a way to communicate with others who those people might be if you are searching for a partner. In pracrical terms, it doesn't often enter into day to day discourse and most people you interact with would have little idea what's the difference between pansexual and bisexual and wouldn't really mind.

    That being said, sexual orientation does serve a secondary purpose which relates to identity. You create rules surrounding your identity, giving it specific meaning that guides your actions. Ideally, others also know the meaning of your identity and will interact with you, in context of your identity. However, if you adopt an identity that is not widely known, people will not have the tools needed to respond as you expect them to respond and the identity wouldn't be reinforced and would to a certain extent lose its purpose.

    That's one of the reasons why many people who are technically pansexual would still choose to identify as bisexual which is more widely known and understood and simply give it their own unique subjective meaning which includes people that identify beyond the binary. However, this is ultimately up to you to decide and it's understandable if you want to use a term that you perceive to be more inclusive.

    I hope this helped. (Hug)
     
  3. enkeli

    Regular Member

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    Bisexual doesn't mean you only like two genders though. It can mean that but many of us use the definitions "attracted to your own and other genders" or "attracted to two or more genders". It has been inclusive of all genders for a long time, here's an excerpt from the bisexual manifesto of 1990: Bisexuality is a whole, fluid identity. Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature: that we have "two" sides or that we must be involved simultaneously with both genders to be fulfilled human beings. In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.

    So if that's what's stopping you from identifying with it, there you go. But really, if you don't feel comfortable with any label, that's fine too. You could always say you're not straight but don't have a label. Many people use queer as their label too because it's ambiguous and doesn't exclude anyone. I personally use both queer and bisexual. And I mean, since a lot of people use gay as an umbrella term, nobody should be mad if you use it as your label either even if you don't strictly fit its definition.
     
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