I wish there was a “Gay realization” section but I decided to post here. I met a friend online. We ended up becoming best friend and spent a lot if time together. I remember when she was gonna drive wrecklessly while drinking due to depression, I said no because I cared for her safety too much. It ended up touching her. Time passed, and I remember one day she asked me after some loving comments, Why I’m not a guy? I answered because I’m not. After several hours I contemplated what she meant, and I complement what she meant to me. I deduced, I had strong feelings and I think she does too. Next day I asked her if she likes me, and have a strong sexual attractions for me. She confirmed it and said, well above any guy despite we both dated guys before. We hid this relationship from irl and online. Fast forward, the relationship was on and off. sometimes she would push me away and say we are just friends and mot gay because her Christian up bringing is Orthodox. Others, it went back again. We ended up visiting each other in person. I visited her w/ major jet lag. We were shy in meeting each other, and I respected her wishes in close contact that she didnt like based on her prior official relationship w/ her ex bf. On the last night w/ her, she had confessions of her strong feelings and desires of me. And I too. It was a sorrowful love. We were emotional when I had to leave. Since that depature, we grew apart, and now she is denying any close relationship and says we are just friends. She now seeks her sights particularly flirting with guys online as the cycle go. And I feel disgusted in what she says sexually online to the masses. There is one friend I told about and she thinks that there is a spectra of homosexuality. I did tell her i am sexually attractive to guys but that one person, i am attracted to her. I am now single who knows i can find love again. I may best forget her and move on. Maybe best I am not friends with her.
Take the time to feel what you are feeling, you are entitled to that. A good relationship should be completely honest and open about how both feel about every aspect of their lives. Love is about taking risks and making sacrifices for the one we love. Love isn't an on again off again thing. You are worthy of love. When you are ready to open yourself up again, put yourself out there and be outgoing and proud of who you are and where you are in your life. Love is about ta
Hey I am really sorry you have gone through that. To love someone and it not be returned is really tough to go through but to love someone who loves you back but cannot process or accept what they are feeling can almost sometimes be worse because the potential is there but it becomes so on and off. My advice would be it's ok to be sad and frustrated for a bit that it hadn't worked out then pick yourself up and try and make some new LGBT friends, get it so you are comfortable with who you are and I'm sure along the way you will find a guy or a girl who would just love to go out with you.
Thanks for your kind advices. Maybe we just don’t have much in common. Perhaps my approach of things in generals are conservative. Lately, I’ve been disgusted with her sexual flirtations in a forum chat that it goes overboard and the forum she manages is turning x-rated with porn postages. People have changed. She has changed. Her life. I feel being around her and ther is unhealthy for me. I will take advice to find new friend in lgbt.
It's true sometimes people do change or sometimes when we first meet people we are kind of blinded by the positives and the things we like about them and not notice the bad things which then sometimes become apparent at a later date. You should find someone that makes you happy and it definitely sounds like she doesn't anymore even if she once did.
On another note, since I don't think anyone has posted here in reference to your sexuality; hetero-flexible might be a good fit. I just wanted to make a suggestion. I identify as bisexual, but heteroflexible is the identity between straight and bisexual on the spectrum.